Bitchcraft! Episode 12 – Home makers and other monsters


Click on the thumbnail to view the full-size webcomic!

Yay! Helen made an ax! She found the pattern online at The Anticraft website. The Anticraft site covers all sorts of evil crafts, so you know we love ’em! Helen also has their book. It’s called…

(Click on the link to AntiCraft: Knitting, Beading and Stitching for the Slightly Sinister
so we can be rich!!)

Helen would like to point out that this book, probably more than any other, is what first made her realize the truly evil potential of yarn. Yay!

In addition to the ax, we’ve been making other stuff as well. We will have a table at Intervention again this year, and we are bringing all sorts of evil goodies, like these guys!


Beetus and Cleetus

Hello! We’re Beetus and Cleetus! We’re GNOMBIES!!

Bad joke!

Don’t shoot! We’re unarmed!

Mmm... Pumpkin!

Hello! I’m a Pumpkin Head!

So yeah! We got some freaky stuff for you!

Come back next week to see what happens with Woody the Tree House.

Zombie Calendar is finally for sale!

My Zombie Calendar is finally for sale on Zazzle!!!

Well, file this under “better late than never!” Last year I started working on a zombie calendar, drawing a zombie a month using AdobeĀ® Ideas on my iPad. I had planned to finish up the calendar and put it up for sale on Zazzle in November, but then I tore my ACL and all the plans I had for the rest of the year sort of fell apart. Honestly, I couldn’t sit upright with a laptop until just last week, due to the swelling and soreness in my right knee.

But now it’s done! Twelve zombies to commemorate the twelve months of the year! I will be ordering a couple of copies, hopefully to get them in time to take to Marscon on the 18th through the 20th in Williamsburg, VA. I will also have a collection of greeting cards, including Zombie Santa and a zombie Valentine, and some original crocheted amigurumi! If you’ve been following me on Twitter (@Cynical_Woman), you’ve seen some of the amigurumis in progress. I’ll have Skully Girl, Funky Chicken, Pumpkin Head, Zombie Sock Monkey, and Mr. Squishy, either in the art show or for sale at my table. So be sure to stop by and take a look!

(By the way, if you’re on Ravelry, I’m listed as CynicalWoman!)

ACW Episode 180 – It’s the most exercise I’ve had all week

Click on the thumbnail to view the full-sized webcomic!

Click on the thumbnail to view the full-size webcomic!

Con crud is the ultimate suck. I spent all last week on the couch, struggle to get through email (most of it for Girl Scouts!) and do what little work I could, including this week’s webcomic. I like that I can do web comics on the iPad when I need to, and in fact I will be doing a new project entirely on the iPad, but for “The Adventures of Cynical Woman,” I prefer good ol’ fashioned paper and pen, with good ol’ fashioned coloring and lettering done in Photoshop.

For those of you who didn’t know (because I was so sick I never got around to posting it) I was at Interventioncon two weekends ago. Interventioncon was a blast! It’s the first time I’ve run a table at a con as a webcomic artist rather than as a fiction writer/podcaster, and I have to say, the results were nice. Mich and I were able to sell quite a few items that weekend. Not enough to cover the cost of the hotel room, but far more than what I usually sell when I’m working as a writer/podcaster. Makes me glad I’m switching over to doing more comics and less fiction. I’m still writing, of course, but that writing is all being done for the webcomic, which is good because I like writing for comics. But now I can also do things like sketch cards and amigurumi and felties and prints and creepy greeting cards and I can group all that stuff together and sell it! Yay for selling stuff!

So anyway, great weekend sandwiched between two weeks of sick. I’m writing this post on Friday, you should be reading it on Monday. Hopefully by now I can finally breathe again and I am back at the gym. If not, I will spend yet another day on the couch. Yay. Fun. Ick.

Con crud sucks.

Flashback Friday! B5 Toons


I posted the finished B5 cartoon a couple years ago.  Just last week I found the original sketch. The character in the lower left is my version of Scully from the S-Files. Delen is in the middle, obviously having a bad hair day, and I have no idea who that sinister employee from Mickey D’s is supposed to be. Why I drew that guy, I’ll never know. He vaguely reminds me of cartoons I’ve done of the Hubster, but the Hubster worked at Burger King, not McDonald’s, when he was in school, and I worked at Hardee’s. So, who knows! But I do like the B5 sketch. It’s one of my favorite cartoons.

I’m at Balticon this weekend, mostly likely doing panels on web comics, writing, erotica, new media and podcasting, digital art, and whatever else is on my schedule. Check the program book and look for a blue-haired woman with horns!

Join the Mustachequerade! A new ‘zine by Cynical Woman

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve probably seen some cryptic and not-so-cryptic tweets about a project I’ve been working on called Mustachequerade. This is something new I’m doing this year, an 8-page zine of hand-drawn artwork and bizarre little stories all about mustaches! Yes, you heard me right, mustaches. Why, you may wonder, am I doing a zine about mustaches? Because…

Because it just struck me as something funny and weird to cartoon about! How’s that for an answer?

Here is the cover art for issue one of Mustachequerade:

As you can see, these will be done as limited editions. I’ve printed up 100 copies to take with me to sell at Marscon, at the price of $1 per issue. It’s 8 pages of mustachioed madness, folks, and probably one of my most bizarre, creative projects yet! So if you come to Marscon this weekend, be sure to see me at my author table to pick up a copy. Issue one includes “The ‘Stache of Wisdom,” “Famous Mustaches in History,” “Know Your Mustache,” “The Mustache ABCs” and a clip and cut mustache that you can decorate and tape to your upper lip, if you so desire.

So stop by and see me at Marscon. For the bargain price of a dollar, issue one of Mustachequerade could be yours! Supplies are limited, so don’t wait!

I will be reading at Literary Foreplay in NC this weekend!

Erotica author Beth Wylde has put together a terrific reading event in Gibsonville, NC, this Saturday, featuring a number of erotica authors (including yours truly!). Here are the details if you’d like to come!

Literary Foreplay: An afternoon of HOT erotica
July 24th 2010 2PM-6PM

Summer is here and the temperatures are steaming but we’ve found a way to get you even hotter. Want to turn up the heat? Ready to sweat? If so, we’ve got the event for you!

Join local erotica writers for an afternoon of literary foreplay in Gibsonville, NC on July 24th 2010 from 2pm – 6pm as they read from some of their yummiest and naughtiest stories. Join hostess Beth Wylde and La Fortress owner Adventureseker with readings scheduled by:

Beth Wylde
Nobilis Reed
Oceania Monroe
Jhada Rogue Addams
Helen E. H. Madden
Qwillia Rain
Yvette Hines

and possibly more……….

$5 cover charge at the door gets you into the erotica reading session plus the author Q&A as well as time afterwards to purchase autographed copies of some of the hottest erotic books you’ll ever get your hands on. The $5 cover charge goes to benefit La Fortress, the club that has graciously supported the kink community for so many years. It’s time to give back. Seker does so much!

The readings will be done in the dungeon. Afterwards there will be the regular Saturday night play party at 8PM. The play party is a seperate event and a seperate cost, so be sure to ask Seker about that when you RSVP for the reading.

The first 20 people that bring a friend with them will receive a free book courtesy of Bold Strokes Books or Torquere Press.Their choice as long as supplies last. Beth will also have her goodie basket with her full of free swag bags for everyone and special treats for those who purchase a book from her.

Please RSVP for a seat and directions with Adventureseker at:

I will be there with copies of Future Perfect to sell, plus more books from the other fine authors at

ACW Episode 70 – Oh Balticon!

Sorry today’s cartoon is late. As you can see from the image above, there was a reason.

Balticon is the biggest convention I go to every year. I love it. I love seeing everybody I know from writing and podcasting and webcomics. I love attending the panels and learning new things. I love doing and attending readings. And yes, I love the parties.

The best party at Balticon is the one hosted by Chooch and Viv of the “Into the Blender” podcast. This year’s theme was Sci Fi Prom. I just happened to come across an old costume of mine in the closet while I was packing last Thursday and I decided to bring it to the prom. The outfit had been in storage for 9 years or so, and I’d only worn it once because I got pregnant soon after that, so it seemed like it was time to wear it again. I was rather surprised at people’s reactions to my outfit (all of which were overwhelmingly positive), especially since a) it’s an old costume that’s been in storage all these years and b) there were some really killer costumes at the prom. But I guess I must still have my costuming mojo because yours truly was crowned queen of the Sci Fi Prom. I promised Viv I’d crown next year’s queen, just as soon as someone pried my tiara from my cold dead fingers.

All in all, I had a great time. Here are a few quick photos from the con. Like me, there are a bit skewed and out of focus. Hopefully I will recover from such conditions even if the photos won’t.

My best friend, Mary, lacing me into my flame-print corset. She had way too much fun doing this.

My reading on Saturday night. I bought the corset at Farpoint earlier this year. It’s a good thing I decided to wear a shirt under it. I didn’t realize how low the corset would settle once I was strapped in, and even with the shirt I worried about being “over-exposed.”

Kim, the Comic Book Godess. She’s got a fantastic voice and writes and performs wonderful songs. She’s also the founder of the Secret Society for Delayed World Conquest.

My partner in crime, Nobilis Reed, at his book launch for Scouts on Saturday night. He hosted a fake orgasm contest and a massage contest. And yes, that was as intersting as it sounds. Find out more about Scouts and Nobilis at

Me and DDog at the Sci Fi Prom. DDog was probably one of the neatest, most fashionable people there, and by fashionable I mean he does his own thing and does it very well. He’s dressed in this picture as the latest incarnation of the Doctor. I was dressed as the Empress Xena. And yes, I do get satellite TV on that headdress I’m wearing. To get OnStar, I just push the big red jewel at the top.

The woman I would have voted for, for Sci Fi Prom Queen, the lovely J.R. Blackwell, who is probably one of the most creative and talented people I know. Photography, costuming, writing… She does it all.

Mr. Snacky Cake, aka John Cmar, and Jared Axelrod, J.R.’s equally talented husband. Jared has a graphic novel coming out called “Fables of the Flying City” that I am very much looking forward to seeing. Meanwhile, Dr. John Cmar performs the best medical procedures, including the boob flattening he did on me the moment I arrived at Balticon. It was a very professional job, I tell you.

My prom king, Dave Slusher of the Evil Genius Chronicles. I couldn’t have been paired with a better guy.

Vivid Muse, the hostess with the mostest at the Sci Fi Prom…

And here’s Viv’s stud-boy, Chooch. He plays a mean bass!

A dear friend of mine, Elf, whom I’ve known since college, and who’s shown up at every event I’ve done in Maryland in the last three years. Love you, Elf!

And last but far from least, podcaster and prolific author Nathan Lowell who’s book “Quarter Share” is now out and is a must read. In this pic, Nathan is demonstrating his “Second Life He-Man” pose. Oy! Muy macho, Nate!

I wish I’d had the chance to take more pictures, because this is just a small sampling of what went on this weekend. However the con goes by so fast! Maybe next year I’ll be a little quicker with the camera.