Two things have surprised me about learning to knit. The first is the number of people who express surprise that I can knit when they see me doing it in public. Not surprise as in, “Oh wow, I didn’t think you had enough brain cells to be able to do something like that.” But more like, “Holy cow! What is that bizarre activity you’re doing? I could never do that!” Why people think they can’t knit is beyond me, as the basics are pretty… well, basic. Things do get more complicated, but you sort of work up to that. Which brings me to surprise number two.
Naughty knitting patterns. I knew about the penis cozies. I can’t recall who told me about them, but I had heard of them before. What I wasn’t aware of was the patterns for lingerie, stockings, garter belts, etc. I keep finding fun new patterns that I want to try, and I’m just waiting to get busted while knitting one of them at my daughter’s Catholic school. Nuns don’t scare me, just so you know, but it does hurt when they hit you in the back of the head with an eraser.
And speaking of things nuns wouldn’t approve of, here are my boobs again…
If you have not yet bought your “Fear Me!” t-shirt, you can still get one! I’m going to keep these t-shirts available on Zazzle.com for the indefinite future, because I’m hoping they’ll sell well and send some much needed money to DonorsChoose.org. This is the shirt I’ll be wearing at the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, and since I’m obviously going in hopes of keeping fear alive, I’ll be tricked out in full cynical regalia, with the horns, the demon wings backpack, funky sunglasses, etc. Anyway, buy a shirt or donate directly to DonorsChoose.org, and do something good with your dirty, dirty money!