It’s started. Harry and David… Swiss Colony… Hillshire Farms… All those glossy holiday food catalogs are just bursting out of my mailbox with their sensuous, tempting images of sinful, seductive food, all of it crying out, “Eat me! Eat ME!”
What, you’ve never heard of food porn before? Let me tell you why these naughty little catalogs are really nothing more than hard core XXX porn!
- Glossy, airbrushed images of tantalizing treats, complete with strategic lighting.
- Everything in those pics is plump, ripe, fresh, steaming, hot… Speaking of hot, is it me, or did someone just turn up the thermostat in here?
- Twelve inches of summer sausage on special sale this month. Need I say more?
- More nuts than you can stuff in your mouth, just in case you didn’t get enough summer sausage.
- And finally, the centerfold in just about every one of these damned catalogs is… CHEESECAKE!!
This has been your moment of freakiness for the week. Enjoy.
[New Post] Freaky Friday – Food Porn! – via @twitoaster http://www.cynicalwoman.com/2009/11/13/f…
Blog post – Is anybody else getting food porn in their holiday mail yet? http://www.cynicalwoman.com/2009/11/13/f…
@Cynical_Woman Yes. It makes me feel inadequate.
@MoriahJovan I swear, how can my cheesecake ever live up to these artificial standards? *Sob*
@Cynical_Woman Clearly, the only answer is plenty of cherry pie filling for toppings.