Author: Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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Move It Mama Monday! EA Sports Active 2 – A Fantastic Game with a Fatal Flaw!

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Huzzah! I have lost 6 lbs since Christmas. Thanks to time spent on the Hubster’s elliptical machine and the LiveStrong calorie counter app on my iPad, I’ve been able to finally shift those few extra pounds. I’d like to lose another four in the next month or two. We’ll see if I can make that happen.

But since I have lost 6 lbs., I decided to reward myself. I didn’t want to buy anything food related, which would have defeated the purpose of losing weight to begin with, and I didn’t want to buy new clothes because frankly, my closet is full of cool t-shirts and jeans that I already like and I have no need for anything really fancy. So what to get?

Well, I just happened to be in Target earlier last week and I just happened to see they had EA Sports Active 2 on sale! A game that normally costs $100 was available for $60! I was really itching to try the new EASA, but hadn’t taken the plunge because of the price, so when I found it on sale, I snatched it up immediately. It was the perfect way to reward myself, I thought. It’s something I wanted and it would help me continue to stay fit.

Then I got the game home and tried it out. Can you say EPIC FAIL, boys and girls?

Here’s the deal. EASA 2 comes with 2 sensors and a USB receiver. One of the sensors goes on your left forearm and tracks your heart rate as well as movement for that arm. The other sensor goes on the right thigh, in lieu of the nunchuk which is how EASA previously tracked leg movements. The USB receiver gets plugged into the back of the Wii console. All very simple to set up. I had everything ready to go in just a few minutes and was ready to start up the game. I made my profile, browsed through my workout options, and picked a program to try. Then I ran into a big problem

The right leg sensor kept switching off.

Every time the Wii console lost contact with the leg sensor, it would stop the entire game and wait for me to fix the problem. Fixing it usually consisted of jiggling the sensor until it lit up again. Then I had to select a button on the screen to continue the workout. Not really a big deal if this only happens once or twice, but this happened to me 7-8 times during the workout, and that got damned annoying real fast.

So I decided maybe the problem was the batteries in the leg sensor were drained and I dug up some rechargables and made sure they were fully charged and tried them the next day.

Well day 2 was even worse than day 1!! I couldn’t even get through the second exercise! The leg sensor dropped out a dozen times in a row during the warm ups. It was so bad I finally quit the session. And when I did that, EASA 2 said, “You need to try harder!” because I only managed to burn 5 calories thanks to the stupid leg sensor.

Try harder?! Why don’t you try harder, ass-hat?!

Sorry, I got a little carried away there. So anyway, I went online to see if anybody else had encountered this problem and discovered that yes indeedy! Lots of people have had problems with the leg sensor on EASA 2. Suggestions for trouble shooting included changing the batteries in the sensor, unplugging and replugging in the USB receiver while the Wii console is off, “re-bonding” the sensors in the settings section of the game, or returning the game to the store and asking for a replacement.

I did the first two items on the list above and this morning tried playing the game again. I got farther through before I started having problems, and was able to actually complete the workout, but once again the leg sensor just kept dropping out. It caused me to lose a race in the game because it dropped out so frequently during that event, and it drove me nuts during mountain climbers later on. But I did manage to finish the workout.

When I was done, I went into the setting section of EASA 2 and “re-bonded” the sensors. Rebonding essentially means asking the Wii to look for the sensors again and re-register them. I don’t recall bonding the sensors the first time I played the game, so maybe that’s part of the problem. I won’t be able to say for certain until I try playing the game again.

But in any event, this is a major, MAJOR flaw in an otherwise fantastic game. And I really hate this because the new EASA 2 has some new features that I really like. For starters, I don’t have to hunt through the list of workout programs anymore or put together one of my own when I work out. Instead, I can simply tell EASA 2 what I want to focus on and how long and hard I want to work out and it will generate a program for me. And if I’m not keen on that particular program, I can simply hit the “regenerate” button and it will devise a different program. This is pure genius, in my opinion. I hate trying to figure out what to do on my own, and I hate having to hunt through a lengthy list to figure out what program I want to do that day. It’s much easier to simply say, “I want to do arms today for 20-25 minutes, and I want a medium level workout,” and then just watch that happen.

Another thing I like is heart rate monitor. The leg sensor may be complete crap, but the heart rate monitor is great! The game shows my heart rate while I play and lets me know what effort zone I’m in. This info is then used to calculate how many calories I burn while I work out. Brilliant! And the heart rate measurement looks pretty damn accurate to me, too.

Warm up and cool down has also changed. Now instead of being bored out of my skull with the same routine at the beginning and end of every workout, EASA 2 calls up a couple of exercises and stretches from a list and adds those to the workout. EASA More Workouts always used the same routine each time, which drove me nuts, but EASA 2 gives me more variety, and that’s important to me when I work out.

Finally, the journal is still there in EASA 2, although I don’t intend to use it since I use Live Strong to track my eating and workout habits. And there’s a 3-week and 9-week challenge that users can try. I won’t be doing either of those since they both require 4 days a week to complete and I’m not committing that much time each week to just one game. I mean, face it. I swim, I do karate, I use the elliptical machine, I do a bit of yoga… I got plenty going on. What I need is the occassional strength workout, which the new EASA 2 can give me thanks to it’s “Generate workout” function.

But only so long as that leg sensor works.

Here’s my final thoughts. Don’t spend $100 on the game. While the game is fantastic, the leg sensor is a huge no-go in my book. Had I known what a total failure the leg sensor would be, I wouldn’t even have spent $60 on the game. $30, maybe, but only if I had some guarantee that the leg sensor would only crap out occassionally during the game and not screw up an entire workout.

So fix this leg sensor problem, EA! You almost have the perfect game, but that leg sensor is holding you back. Fix it and I’ll love you enough to continue to buy future versions of EASA. Ignore it and I’ll spend my hard-earned money elsewhere, I promise.

Oh, and one more thing, EA? For the next version, add in a yoga program. It really is the only other thing you’re missing to be perfect. But fix that leg sensor before you do it!

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Sunday Contentments – Serenity in Stress?

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I’m really not having a good time right now. I’ve got more work on my plate that I’d like, and more keeps pouring in. In fact, I’m reaching the point where I’m going to have to turn down paying work just to keep up with the things I’ve got going on right now, and I hate doing that.

So my stress level is a bit high right now. I will survive the next couple of weeks, but it’s not going to be pretty. My biggest concern is the Girl Scout Cookie Coordinator job I volunteered for. To the person who told me this was going to be a low-stress job, you lied to me and I’m going to get you for it one day. That’s a promise. I’ve got cookie paperwork coming out my ears, among other places, and it’s not fun to deal with.

Add to this a novel I’m still writing and have already started podcasting, paying art commissions, upcoming conventions, karate camp and the usual routine of family and home and you can see why I’m about to rip out a good chunk of my hair.

What to do? I hate being in this position, and obviously I’m going to have to figure out how not to get into this mess again, but in the meantime, how do I get through it and stay sane? I’ve given myself some ground rules that hopefully will help.

  1. Set a schedule and keep it. That means a very early wake up call in the morning and going to bed at a decent hour at night. It also means setting aside specific hours for work and specific hours for family time (and doing my best not to mix the two things together). When my schedule is consistent, I get a lot done. When I deviate from that schedule, I end up paying for it through the nose.
  2. Keep exercising. I feel lousy when I don’t get my usual 1-2 hours of exercise in. Given the current state of things, I think 2 hours a day of physical activity is obviously out of the question, but squeezing in an hour, even if I have to break it up throughout the day, is doable. Besides, a little physical activity always helps me blow off stress.
  3. No stress-related eating! I always, always pack on the pounds when I get into situations like this, and I hate that. I’m going to keep a log of what I eat, as I have been doing the last month or so, to make sure I don’t just randomly grab food and stuff it into my mouth at any old time. I can feel the urge to devour a bag of chips even as I write this, but I’m going to put it off until I’m done, and then I’m going to grab the low-fat baked tortilla chips and eat them with salsa. That’s a HEALTHY snack that will do me far more good than a bunch of potato chips with fatty French onion dip.
  4. Keep a to-do list. Lists help me stay on top of what needs to be done. I can check things off as they’re accomplished and add things as they crop up. I’ve got the perfect list app on my iPad right now, and it’s been a big help so far.
  5. Take a break. All work and no play make this Cynical Woman a real bitch to deal with. So I’m trying to take a half hour or so every now and then to just chill. Knitting, sketching, reading, etc. I’m taking a bit of time off later this afternoon to sit on the couch and knit or draw while Hubster and the girls watch football. I’ve even got a special dish cooking in the crockpot just for the occassion. Fact is, I deserve a little laid back quiet time and if I don’t get it, my brain is going to melt out my ear. When that happens, I’ll really be screwed.
  6. And finally, take steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I have plenty on my plate. I’m not adding to it. I will be making a few phone calls and emails to people to let them know I am full up on work and am not taking on any more jobs at this time. I will fulfill my current committments, and then I’m going to clear my schedule for a few personal projects that I really want to get done. I think that’s fair, it’s reasonable, and it’s about damned time.

So that’s my plan. I feel better just putting it into writing. We’ll see how it works come next week. Enjoy your Sunday!

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Freaky Friday – Astronaut Bob, what happened to you?!

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“Astronaut Bob, What Happened to You?!” by Helen E. H. Madden

Yet another iPad, ArtRage masterpiece. I love the dayglow colors in this one, and the way the brush strokes from the watercolor tool gave the space suit a wrinkled appearance. I had some trouble with this one initially because I drew it in white ink on a dark background, and then had to figure out how to color it between the two extremes of light and dark. My first attempt at coloring this failed massively.

These little sketches are so much fun, and very easy to do on the iPad. It’s sort of like throw-away art, art that I don’t really feel the need to fuss over because it’s a) drawn on the iPad, not an expensive sketchbook, and b) nothing more than a quick doodle, really. I think that allows me to be more experimental and free with what I draw. It’s no big deal, I can draw any stupid little thing I want, and so I do and the results turn out pretty well anyway. It’s nice to know I can do that and get away with it!

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Rats! Episode 48 – While you were drunk…

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I am not 100% certain, but I feel like there ought to be another cartoon before this one, finishing up the argument between Kitty and Claw before moving on to poor Irwin Rat. However, it isn’t in the pile of strips I have set aside for the first year, so maybe I’m just mis-remembering things. I’m getting old, so I tend to do that.

Friends do evil things to friends who are hungover. I think that’s a major reason why I never did much drinking in college. My buds were truly evil, and I think they would have seriously messed with me had I ever been hungover. My buds were cool, mind you. Very nice people. But evil, evil people none the less.

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WIP Wednesday – The Cookie Thief

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I’m still having far too much fun with my iPad, this time with an art program called Brushes. It’s rather different from ArtRage, in that I’m having an easier time producing oil paint style artwork. Below is an image I’m currently working on called “The Cookie Thief.”

I will admit, Brushes is easier to use, but unlike ArtRage, the image changes a bit when I transfer it from my iPad to my desktop computer. That’s okay though, because apparently I can send a movie version of the image to the desktop and then use Brush’s playback software to recreate the image at a larger resolution, which will then allow me to work on the final in Photoshop on the computer. Oh, and I’d also be able to show that movie as an AVI or similar format so people could see how the work progressed from start to finish. I like that idea a lot.

Anyway, that’s one of the things I’m currently working on. I hope I get this one done soon 😉

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ACW Episode 100 – Snow Balls!

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Oh good god. Have I actually drawn 100 strips? I can’t quite believe it. And yet here we are, at the 100th episode of “The Adventures of Cynical Woman.”

So now what do I do?

Keep drawing, obviously. I’m still having fun with this. If nothing else, it’s a fun way to document what goes on in my family. Perhaps years from now when I am old and grey and in the nursing home, my children will pull out these cartoons and show them to their children, who will then nod sagely and say, “Yeah, that explains a lot about this family.”

In any event, we had snow the day after Christmas, a good 12 inches of it. It was a bit of a surprise to me, and I wish I had cleared more work stuff off my plate so I could spend more time outside with the kids playing in the freezing white stuff. I did get out a couple times, but usually by the time I did, the girls were already done and wanted to come back in for hot chocolate. Still, we did have a snowball fight or two. But the Hubster was really eager to get out there. He build our cock-eyed snow man all by himself even…

From left to right, that’s Pixie, Princess, the cock-eyed snow man, the Hubster, my sister and me. I still don’t know what the snow man was looking at, and now he’s all melted, so he’ll never tell.

In addition to building a snow man, the Hubster also built Snowhenge in the big lot behind our house. Will have to see if I can find that picture. And he had snowball fights with the girls. I was on my way out to join then when Pixie came in snuffling and fussing about how Daddy hit her with a snow ball. Poor baby! But all he did was drop it on her and she asked him to do it, so…

Any way, one of my New Year’s Resolutions this year is to take a whole day off next time it snows. I want to bake, read, draw, and play outside. Screw working while there’s snow on the ground. I got better things to do on a cold winter day!

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Move It Mama Monday! Progress?

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Well, it’s been about four weeks since I got my iPad and the LiveStrong calorie counter app, and it’s been four weeks since I started hopping onto the Hubster’s elliptical machine almost everyday to burn up excess calories. Have I seen any progress in that time?

Yes. Yes, I think I have.

I weighed myself on Sunday and was surprised to see a number on the scale I didn’t think I would ever see again. Frankly, it looks like my weight is down by about 5 lbs., though I’m a little hesitant to say this weight loss is permanent. I want to lose another five before I start celebrating.

However, I have seen some other changes that make me think I’m on track to getting back to my normal (or what used to be normal) weight. Mainly, I’ve discovered that tracking what I eat has made me very conscious of things like portion size and how frequently I snack. I’ve started eating less simply because I know I’ll have to enter everything I consume into the calorie counter, and I hate seeing my goal for the day broken because I just couldn’t resist that one little candy bar. So snacking is down.

Meanwhile exercise is up! I can eat a little more if I burn a little more, so I’ve been extra vigilant about getting up very early and hopping onto the elliptical for 30 minutes to burn some calories. I’d like to do more exercise during the day after that, but between schedule issues and the house being in total chaos while my floor is being tiled, that hasn’t been possible. Still, those issues should be sorted out soon and I’ll be back to doing more swimming, karate, yoga, water aerobics, etc., while also getting that morning burn from the elliptical.

For those of you who think I’m already thin enough, thank you. I know a lot of folks look at me and say, “You’re too damn skinny already! Stop it!” Well, I am in fairly good shape. My only concern is how well I fit into my jeans. When the jeans get snug, I get uncomfortable, and I hate that. Plus, I’m too damn cheap to buy new jeans, so I have to continue to fit into the old ones. So don’t worry, I won’t lose too much weight. Just enough to make sure I don’t have to buy new clothes anytime soon 😉

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Freaky Friday – Victoria Z!

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Welcome back to Freaky Friday! Here’s another artistic oddity, this time from my digital sketchbook on my iPad. This is “Victoria Z,” drawn using the ArtRage app. I love how the different painting tools in ArtRage layer over each other to get these really great textured effects. Poor Victoria really looks like she’s rotting away before our eyes! And of course, the pen tool has become my favorite feature of ArtRage. It’s perfect for cartooning! I’m still “finger painting” on the iPad to create these images, and it works very well, but I think next month I’m going to order a stylus. It might give me a bit more control over line drawing, which would be nice for specific images.

Anyway, here’s hoping you are enjoying your Friday. Have a freaky day!

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Rats! Episode 47 – Who do you think you’re talking to?!

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I’ve never made this mistake, nor had anyone I was dating make it with me, but the thought of something like this happening struck me as being hysterically funny. Yes, I did make up some stuff for this comic strip. I occasionally do it for my other web comic as well, “The Adventures of Cynical Woman.” What can I say? Sometimes real life is a little boring. But not often.

Very little is boring right now, in fact. That’s because your’s truly signed up to be Cookie Mom for my daughter’s Brownie troop. I may have been an ROTC cadet and an officer in the Army Reserves, but I never had any experience with the Girl Scouts until this year. And boy, has it been an experience. The mom who conned me into being cookie mom said the job was low key. She LIED! I’m up to my assets in paperwork right now, and scrambling to keep up with everything. But I keep telling myself, I dealt with much more difficult tasks in the Army Reserves. Like running weapons qualification ranges. Being cookie mom isn’t nearly as bad as being the OIC for a weapons qualification range, because no one my daughter’s Brownie troop is likely to shoot anybody by accident. I hope.

Have fun this week, and thank you to everyone who’s left comments on the blog or sent me emails. I really do appreciate the feedback. It’s good to know people still want to read these comics even twenty years after they were originally published.

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WIP Wednesday – “The Little Death” podcast novel

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Last week I returned to my weekly podcast, Heat Flash Erotica, after a few months off. For the last three years, I wrote and podcasted a new short story every week. It was great fun, but by the end of the third season, I was exhausted and burnt out on short stories so I took some time off to work up a new project. The result is a novel called “The Little Death,” a story about telepaths, conspiracies and murder. The main character, Agent Robin Helki, is an esper working for the Fifth Precinct police department in the city-state of New York. She’s been called in to gather psychic evidence at the scene of a violent death, but what she finds only leads to a bigger mystery.

I’m still writing the story, but at 54000 words, I thought I had enough to start podcasting an episode a week. Episode 01 of “The Little Death” went online last Friday. You can find it here, and either download it to play on your MP3 player or listen to it on your computer. Episode 02 has been recorded and will be available next Friday. Until then, here’s an excerpt from the upcoming episode.

*****

Excerpt from “The Little Death,” episode 02 – Dr. Hurston Jones

The elevator glides to a halt. I step out into an empty corridor. Room seven is the fourth door on the left, the only door up here with a light shining out underneath the crack. I knock twice and prepare to wait. How long I’m left standing there in the corridor ought to tell me just how deep in trouble I am, so I’m surprised when the door swings open almost immediately. The man who holds it open gives me the false smile of a predator sizing up its afternoon meal.

“Agent Helki,” he says. “Please come in.”

I know this man. I follow him into the room, racking my brains to think of where I’ve seen him before. He wears a dark grey suit, dark enough to make him blend in with the shadows in the dimly lit room. He’s balding, but with his hair cropped close rather than combed over in a futile attempt to hide his gleaming scalp. A pair of oval spectacles perches on the bridge of his nose, and he would almost look bookish if it weren’t for the way he moves. Every motion is precise and graceful like a cat. Underneath the suit I get a sense of a body honed to razor’s edge. As he settles behind the massive wooden desk that dominates the room, the glow of the desk lamp catches on his spectacles. For an instant, the lenses are transformed into a pair of luminous orbs. I’m reminded of my dream in the van and I shiver.

“Have a seat,” he says mildly. He gestures to the only other chair in the room. I settle on the edge of the seat. It’s narrow and stiff-backed and saturated with the memories of its previous occupants, everyone of them as scared and uncertain as I am now. I shouldn’t be picking up on their feelings, not when I’m wrapped up in my coat and gloves, but I’m so damned raw after reading a dead woman’s final thoughts, and this chair is awash in fear. I’ll bet the man on the other side of the desk knows it too. I can tell by the way he’s smiling at me.

*****

And that’s it for this week! The full episode will be available in MP3 format at http://www.heatflash.libsyn.com this Friday. Stop by then and give a listen.