Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.

ACW Episode 143 – An Unexpected Delay in Getting Back to Work

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Due to certain unforeseen circumstances, it may be another week or so before I get back to my regular blogging schedule. I didn’t even get “Rats!” up last week because of the events depicted in today’s comic. I will post the regular Cynical Woman comics and “Rats!” all this month, and hopefully be back to a semi-normal schedule by the end of January, but in addition to my recent illness, I’ve also just entered Girl Scout cookie season and today I’m up to my assets in spread sheets and calendars, getting ready for sales to start on Saturday. Oh, and convention season starts next week, with Marscon being the first con on my schedule this year. If you’re going to be in Williamsburg, VA, from 13-15 January, stop by and see me! I’ll be talking about writing, podcasting, speculative fiction erotica and, of course, web comics.

So anyway, I hope you all had a happy New Year. I know that I at least got an early start on one resolution – lose 10 pounds. I’m almost halfway there already!

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERGH!!!

ACW Episode 143 – Hoppy Holidays

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It was like the weirdest game of live-action Frogger ever. There we were, happily driving down the highway, on our way to see “Hugo” (great movie, by the way), when out of nowhere this froggy potty leaps out at us, forcing my mom to run over it with her SUV. It made this horrendous noise, like it was tearing the engine apart with its plastic molded froggy paws. Then the noise stopped. Then the noise started again, only different, and this time the car started to slow down, and it got slower and slower and slower… We barely made it to the movie theater parking lot, where my mom parked and we all jumped out to survey the damage. And there he was, stuck in the wheel well – a child’s froggy potty covered in black goop.

And yes, my dad did actually say the line in the last panel. That’s my dad! Now you know where I get it from.

My family is visiting for another day or so, and then I hope to get back to regular work, but I’m not making any promises for this week. I’ve got to get started on some stuff for Girl Scouts. Cookie season is rapidly approaching, as well as Thinking Day, and I’m in charge of both this year. Plus Marson is coming up, and I’ve got a lot to get ready for that. But someone very nice has offered to help me out with all three of these events, so I should be good. Right, Mich?

Anyway, this is the last Cynical Woman cartoon for the year. I’ll see if I can get Rats! up on Thursday, and then I won’t see you again until next year. Have a good one!

Rats! Episode 76 – It’s Just Not the Same

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During my senior year of college, I roomed with Val, who was (and still is) Jewish. Every year, at Hanukkah, she’d light her menorah, despite the rules against candles in the dorms. The only year this was a problem was the year she used sub-standard candles that went limp when they melted, then toppled off the menorah and into her wicker trash basket. Which was filled with paper.

Val was an interesting roommate. She kept a pet bull snake named “Houdini” in her dorm room, but thankfully not the year we roomed together. Houdini got out of his aquarium one day and slid under the dorm room door, out into the girls’ part of the dorm. You can imagine the excitement this caused. However, Val was short and very cute, so I think when she went to see the Vice Commandant about Houdini’s escapade, she just sort of smiled, laughed, and shrugged, and in return the Vice Commandant (Col. Vanderpyle, I believe), just sort of shook his head and started laughing too. This of course, led me to believe that Val was pure evil because she could get away with anything. In fact, to this day, if you asked me to describe Val, I was say she was cute, and short, and evil. Very evil.

And apparently still an officer in the Air Force! See what being a cadet can do for you?

Wherever you are, Shorty, I hope you and your family have a happy Hanukkah.

WIP Wednesday – La Isla and pre-production work on a new web comic

Whoops! This was supposed to run last week, but somehow didn’t make it out of the “Draft” box of my blogging program. Anyway, I’ve got two things to talk about on WIP Wednesday today.

The first is “La Isla,” the NaNoWriMo project I did last month. I made it through 60K words by November 30th on a story based on a dream I had the month before. It was a weird, freaky dream, and the book looks like it’s going to be a weird freaky book. At this stage of the game, “La Isla” is really more outline than first draft of a novel. I hadn’t planned to do NaNoWriMo this year, so just jumped in with whatever idea I had on hand when November 1st came around. I do believe there’s a very interesting story in there. The novel will be, however, very experimental. Here’s a small sample of what I’ve written, unedited so far:

What is Flora’s first memory? That ought to be the first thing she talks about, the first thing she opens with. The beginning of chapter one. Most people can recall a time early on in their lives when they were children, like the day their mothers made them wear a horrible scratchy suit to church, or the time they wet their pants at Grandma Bingley’s funeral, right during the minister’s sermon, and it wasn’t their fault because no one would pick them up and take them to the bathroom even though they pleaded that they really, really had to go, and besides Grandma Bingley wouldn’t have minded, she would have taken the kid to the bathroom for Pete’s sake, just got up in the middle of the funeral and said, “Excuse me, but those of us still living have needs that must be attended to.” Whatever that meant. When you were only two or maybe three and still toilet training, you never really did get what adults were saying.

Like I said, at this point, it’s all notes and bits of dialog and occassional outright scenes, but mostly notes of what the story should look like. I’m well over 70K words, right now, and once I get the story settled in my mind, I’ll pull out the relevant parts of that very rough pre-first draft and begin the actual writing part of the process. But this pre-writing process is actually very important to me, and I’m happy with how it’s going.

In addition to “La Isla,” I’ve also been working with author Mark Jackman on a potential new web comic. We’re going to have to do a lot of prepatory work, figuring out the format, the story, the art, etc. But I spent all last week working on drawing a sample page based on a short script he sent me. Here’s a quick look at one of the panels.

I have no idea when we would be posting this on a regular basis. Right now Mark and I are just figuring out if we can even do this. We’ve both got very busy schedules. But Mark’s a very funny writer and I would be very happy to work on any project with him, so we’re going to see if we can make this work.

And that’s it for WIPs today, kids. If you have any comments or questions, let me know!

ACW Episode 142 – Bouncy Bouncy!! Bouncy Bouncy!! Fun Fun Fun Fun FUN!!

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Yes, this actually happened. Normally this would not happen, as the girls usually wake up before Hubster and I can get started. When that happens, he takes them downstairs, feeds them breakfast, and turns on Sponge Bob Squarepants. The moment I hear, “Are ya ready, kids?!” I sit up in bed and shout, “Aye-aye, Captain!”

Sponge Bob = Best. Aphrodisiac. EVAAAAAAAAAAH!

Move It Mama Monday! Do the Holidays Weigh Heavy on You?

The Christmas holidays are here, and my parents have arrived with it. Naturally, I’m eating more and exercising less, and it’s not good for me. I’ve already got a massive headache that I think is related to drinking too much caffeine (my mom loves to go to Starbucks and my dad loves coffee and hot cocoa). And my stomach doesn’t feel so hot, because of all the high fat food I’ve ingested in the last couple days.

Obviously, I need to cut back. Doing so will be a bit of a challenge. The good news is, I did manage to get in a workout yesterday – Gold’s Gym Cardio Workout on the Wii, followed by a ten minute yoga podcast I bought from iTunes as a way of squeezing in a little extra stretching and toning over the week. But I’m going to have to step it up a bit more, and I don’t know how I’ll do that yet.

Maybe I’ll make it out for a bike ride this week. Or maybe I’ll do more Wii games and sweat it out. I dunno. But I do know I need to lay off the coffee and the fruit cake, ’cause my head and gut are killing me!

Freak Friday Flashback Edition! Deer in the Woods

Welcome back to Freak Friday Flashback Edition! This sketch is pulled from the same notebook as last week’s, and looking at it gives me a pretty good idea of where both sketches may have been drawn. My dad owned land in Arkansas, and one particular summer in my early teens we went down there to camp for a week or so. I’m pretty certain I did NOT see this deer, but I probably did see the trees and dead logs I drew. I may even have a picture somewhere of me bent very intently over my sketch pad, drawing furiously, probably wishing a real deer would stop by so I could say I drew it.

Let me know what you think of Freak Friday Flashback Edition. Do you think it’s a fun idea, or are you bored to tears with my pathetic teenage artwork? I’ve got some even older stuff, and lots of it, so there’s plenty more I’m going to post, whether you like it or not!

Rats Episode 75 – Quiet Time

Normally, I post the cartoon and then I offer the commentary. Today I’m doing it the other way around, and I want to explain why. On Thursday, Officer Deriek W. Crouse was shot and killed at Virginia Tech. I was horrified to hear this news. His death, at the time of this writing, appears to have been completely senseless, and it’s made even more tragic in light of the fact that Officer Crouse was married with five children. I’m having a hard time understanding how something like this could have happened at a campus I remember as being peaceful and laid back during my college days so many years ago.

The cartoon below was originally on December 8th, 1990. The very next day, I would go to a party and kiss my future husband for the first time. It was one of the best times of my life. It was about a week before the start of exams, and during that week, the VTCC instituted 23-hour quiet time. There was no talking in the hallways, no music, no horsing around, just 23 straight hours of studying. Until 6PM, that is.

From 6PM until 7PM, the hallways in Rasche and Brodie were a riot. We pulled out water guns and shaving cream pies, we blasted our stereos until the glass in the dorm windows started to shake. We threw water balloons and ate pizza, sometimes doing both activities at once. Then at 7PM we would return to our desks and get back to studying as hard as we could.

When I pulled this cartoon out of the pile last week, I clapped my hands with glee. I couldn’t wait to post this. Now, it seems so sad to look at. My heart goes out to Officer Crouse’s family. I cannot begin to say how heartsick I am over this man’s death. My thoughts are with his family.

ACW Episode 141 – The Negotiator

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Both Princess and Pixie have become quite the negotiators at dinner time, and it’s driving me nuts. For years now, I’ve had to argue over how many spoonfuls of vegetables equals one dessert. It doesn’t help that I myself am picky about the vegetables I eat. Only my best friend, Mary, knows how to cook brocolli in such a way that I will actually eat it, stem, flourettes and all!

Things are getting busy here at Cynical Woman Central. I’ve been working on more t-shirt designs, including the Zombie Goth Mermaid. I’m hoping to do a series of goth/steampunk t-shirts and prints, so you’ll be seeing signs of that in the not-too-distant future. Right now, I have two t-shirts for sale in the Cynical Woman Zazzle shop, along with cards, postage stamps, iPad cases, jewelry and other goodies. If you’re so inclined, feel free to visit the shop and browse. All proceeds from that shop go right into paying for more graphics software and hardware so I can produce even more cartoons and cool stuff.

Have fun this week, and don’t forget to eat your vegetables!!

Move It Mama Monday! What will I do when I’ve walked out “Walk It Out”?

To quote Pepe Le Pew, “Le sigh!” I’ve gotten back to playing my fitness games on the Wii now that the weather’s turned cold, and I’ve come to a sad realization. One of my favorite games, Walk It Out, has no follow up game to play. And I’m really kind of bummed about that.

Walk It Out, if you haven’t seen it, is probably one of the simplest Wii fitness games out there. Using either a DDR mat, the Wii balance board, or the Wii nunchuk tucked in your pocket, you walk along to music while exploring a virtual island. That’s it, period. Well, you do accrue points as you walk, which you use to unlock various items on the island, like trees, buildings, a cafe, farmland, and even a giant airship, but basically, you just walk around the island. And I really love that.

I’m the kind of person who loves being immersed in video game settings, but doesn’t particularly care to hack and slash or shoot my way through a scene. Rune Factory is one of my favorite video games, even though I rarely play it, because I can spend an hour or two just running around talking to people and digging up farm crops and such. Of course, Rune Factory doesn’t require me to get my butt off the couch, but Walk It Out does, and that’s part of where my love for the game comes from.

I’m about 75% of the way through Walk It Out at this point, and will probably finish it soon. When that happens, I don’t know quite what I’ll do next. Konami, who released Walk It Out, apparently have no plans for a second game, even though I’ve seen rumors that the company who developed Walk It Out would love to do another one. I would love a chance to explore another virtual environment, and had hoped a new version of Walk It Out would include more exotic settings, either from around the world or straight from imagination. Can you imagine how cool it would be just to walk around on a space station on Mars? Or explore a steampunk city in Victorian England?

But it appears this is not to be. So what will I do when I’ve completed Walk It Out? Play it again from the start, most likely. That’s what a lot of fans seem to be doing. Just starting the game all over again from scratch. But I will keep my eyes out for a new game. After all, I do get bored, and I like to be entertained with new things.

I wish Konami realized that.