Instructions for surviving post-con crud

Step one: DO NOT GO SWIMMING IN A FREEZING COLD POOL THE MORNING AFTER YOU GET BACK FROM THE CON. Just trust me on this one. Don't be that stupid. Please.

Step two: As soon as you get back from the FREEZING COLD POOL OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM, get plenty of chicken brother, noodles, chickpeas and spicy diced tomatoes and throw all that stuff together in the slower cooker with a bit of garlic on high. Leave it there to stew for a few hours.

Step three: Make a huge cup of instant Lipton chicken noodle soup. Drink that immediately. If you don't go “CLUCK!” when you're done, you didn't drink enough soup.

Step four: Make some hot tea with lemon and honey. Drink this while soaking in a hot bath. Hell, just take a bath in hot tea with lemon and honey. It beats the heck out of the FREEZING COLD POOL OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!

Step five: Go the f@&! back to bed!!! What, were you crazy when you got up this morning and decided to go for an hour long dip in the FREEZING COLD POOL OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM?!!! You moron. You deserve to be sick…

Step five: Get up in time to go get the kids from school. Have some hot spicy chicken soup that you left cooking in the slow cooker before you go. Try to remember to change out of your nasty “Oh look! I'm so sick, I've joined the ranks of the undead!” pajamas and put on decent clothes before you leave. Especially if the undead pajamas have cute little moose on them. Honestly, people know you're deranged, but do you really have to look the part?

Step six: Repeat step four until you no longer look, sound, or feel like one of the undead. Or until you have to go get the kids from school again. Whatever.

About Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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  1. Mmm-mm, love me some chicken brother.

  2. Nobilis, you know I can reach through the internet and hurt you, right? Smart ass…

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