ACW Episode 95 – You want WHAT for lunch?

This happens ALL the time. I will be preparing lunch for myself and my darling children and of course one of them will ask for the impossible. It’s most often Pixie, asking for a grilled cheese or PBJ sandwich… sans a certain important ingredient as seen above.

Feeding young children is always challenging. When Princess was very young, I used to struggle to find things she would eat. As a toddler, she’d get a plate of sliced fruit, shredded cheese, crackers, all sorts of things I knew she liked to eat and yet she’d still turn her nose up at it. Catering to her like this meant I had to prepare two meals, one for the adults and one just for her, and that’s just exhausting of course. So one day I just snapped. I put together a plate of what we were eating, cut up into toddler-sized tidbits, put it on the highchair tray in front of her and said, “Eat or starve. I am done jumping through hoops for you, kid.”

Obviously she has not starved. But to this day we do still have our battles over food.

Princess/Pixie: “How much brocoli do I have to eat to get a treat tonight?”

Me: “All of it.”

The kids: “All of it?! But that’s a lot!”

Me: “No, it isn’t. I only gave you what I know you can eat.”

The kids: “But I can’t eat all of it. I’m not hungry anymore.”

Me: “Then I guess you’re not hungry for a treat either.”

Don’t you just love how logic works in a situation like that? Of course, they will continue to bicker and barter over the whole thing. Personally, I don’t care if they get a treat or not. They don’t need the sugar like they need the green veggies. But Hubster will sometimes relent and cut a deal, so the whining continues at every meal, the kids knowing that some days they might get what they want and some days not. It just depends on which parent is most likely to rule the table that day.

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day. Be sure to enjoy your lunch. And if you figure out how to make a grilled cheese with salami, pickles, jam, sprinkles, syrup and no bread, let me know!

About Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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  1. I can remember, as a fairly young child of about 7 or 8, being sat in front of a dinner that appeared to be 5 miles high.

    Gran: “Eat up.”

    Me: “It’s too much!”

    Gran: “You need to eat to grow big and strong. Sit there until it’s all gone.”

    I was still sitting there at tea time, and it never did all get eaten. (Maybe that’s why I was a thin weakling as a child…?)

  2. Steve11,

    I try not to pile on the food for the kids’ plates. The problem is, they are hungry… for sweets and treats! If they won’t eat their dinner though, they obviously don’t get the treats.

    I’ve also had the kids specifically ask for stuff, swearing to me they’ll eat it, and then once it’s placed in front of them, they say, “Eeeeew! What’s this?!”

    I just can’t win.

  3. I don’t get weird food requests, but I do get “I’m hungry” every twenty minutes, even after she’s porked down everything. Aggravating.

  4. My pixie has just reached the age of being picky, but all in all she’s fairly good with most things.

    Fruit or yoghurt are her treats, shes never had a lolly. Closest she’s come is stealing some of my fun size milkybar which I bought for the purpose of letting her have something hedonistic.

    If all else fails she just eats off my plate. But I can see it getting worse.

    This did make me laugh though. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Being the youngest of three, I lucked out. I wasn’t force fed slimy lima beans or other hated foods like my older siblings were – and trust me, I STILL hear about how I was spoiled by not being forced to eat the nuclear waste that is better known as liver. I do remember the impossible requests though. For me it was no pizza crust – just give me the sauce, cheese and pepperoni. Yeah…my mom had fun with that one.

    Of course now, the crust is what makes the pizza! How times have changed…

  6. *cracks her knuckles* I like a challenge.

    The Pixie Sammich: a grilled cheese with salami, pickles, jam, sprinkles, syrup and no bread

    Fire up your cast-iron pan or griddle to medium. Once it’s hot, take shredded medium or mild cheddar (cheaper is better in this case, but make sure it’s still real cheese) and place two 1-2 ounce handfuls in piles fairly well apart from each other. The cheese will spread, so keep an eye on it so they don’t spread into each other, but otherwise don’t fuss with your cheese. Leave it alone.

    Your cheese will melt down, spread out, and bubble up. in 3-5 minutes, the grease will have drooled out of your cheese, the edges should be browning slightly, and the bubbles should be hardening, but there’s still melty cheese on top. at this point, the cheese should be a single unit and firm on the bottom, and your cheese pieces should be able to scoot around the pan easily. lay some sliced bread-n-butter pickles in the melty cheese, pressing gently, and flip your cheeses over to grill for another couple of minutes, just to firm the top and give the pickles a little frizzle. once everything is golden brown, remove the picklecheeses from the pan.

    slap two pieces of salami in the grease in the pan and grill quicky on both sides for a minute or two.

    Spread your picklecheeses with jam, and sandwich your salami. Drizzle the whole thing with syrup and finish with a sprinkle of sprinkles. Cut in half, and serve with a glass of milk and a shot of pink bismuth.

  7. Angela,

    Times do change. I used to always hate eating certain vegetables. I hated them so much that at some point I decided I had to eat them just to get them the heck out of the pantry, so I’d ask for them first after Mom came home with the weekly groceries. What weirdness brought that warped logic on, I don’t know, but I eventually learned to love the green bean 😉

  8. Leigh,

    We get the “I’m hungry!” thing too, usually right after someone has abandoned her still full plate of dinner. My response is, “You can grab an apple from the bowl or sit your butt back down and eat your dinner.” “But I don’t like apples and dinneeeeeeeeeeeeeer!” is always the reply.

    Kids. Ugh.

  9. Ebony!

    Glad you got a laugh. I try to get the kids to eat a piece of fruit or some whole grain chips when they come whining for a snack. Pixie’s learned she can forage in the fridge and pantry for yogurt and cereal bars and I won’t mind. The trick has been to keep as much junk out of the house as possible.

    Of course, the real challenge is that after-dinner treat. The kids get so much Halloween candy, we end up doling it out, a piece or two at a time, all year long. In fact, this year, I had to throw out some of **last year’s** candy before I could hand the kids their Halloween buckets for trick-or-treating!

  10. Mer,

    I knew someone could do it! Now get over here and cook it, because Pixie is home sick today and I guarantee that’s what she’s going to want for lunch!

    Seriously, I have thought about frying just the cheese, but I worry about hardening the child’s arteries. Still, I might do it one time just to see her reaction. I’ll bet if I do it, she won’t eat.


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