What I Learned On My 39th Birthday

I learned that…

If you agree to let your five-year-old help you bake her birthday cake and yours, you will end up waiting until the last minute to do it because of scheduling conflicts.

If you wait until the last minute to bake the cakes, you will have to kill yourself to get them done in time for the party. And you will still have to let the five-year-old help.

If you agree to let your husband go to VIRTUS training at the church instead of staying home to help with the party, you’re not going to have enough adults on hand to handle the upcoming disaster… er, party.

If you get the cakes backed, but then you leave the cake in the pan too long or too little, one layer will split right across the middle when you try to get it out. And your five-year-old will have a heart attack over this.

If you call often enough and frantically enough, and if you leave a really big note on the door, your husband will get home from VIRTUS training in time to fix that stupid cake.

If you look like you’re still pulling your hair out, your best friend will come to the rescue by picking up the sodas, chips, and dips that you forgot to get for the party. Never underestimate the miracle of a best friend.

If you put all thirty-nine candles on your birthday cake and light them, you will set off the fire alarm.

About Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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  1. Someone will turn 6 on a Thursday and you will turn 40 the following Monday. Assuming kids B-day party on Saturday again, pick your Grown-Up restaurant and night – Friday, Sat. Sun or Mon. – make reservations, and let us know well in advance so we can arrange sitters…And celebrate without smoke alarms going off! 😉

  2. You’ve got one hell of a life you know? Of course you know, you’re blogging about it, I’m just flabbergasted that’s all. I don’t know how people do it, having kids and all that. And writing, and being a wife and allll the other things you do!

    Okay the smoke alarm part was too funny btw 🙂 I hope you had a good time anyways, congrats on the best friend 🙂

  3. Emily Veinglory


  4. And you know what the real kicker is? I **still** haven’t had time to slow down and enjoy my birthday. I keep waiting for a day when I can just blow stuff off and not do anything unless I want to, and it just ain’t happening. Too much friggin’ work. Blergh!

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