Michael left on Sunday for a software conference held at Disney World. I stayed home all week with a cranky pre-schooler and a baby sick with an ear infection. I sent my loving spouse the following e-mail on Wednesday. I never did get a reply.
Dearest darling husband of mine,
Woke up at 5AM this morning to sound of crying. Youngest child wanted milk. Nursed her in bed. Discovered overnight she had become a furnace. Took her temp to confirm it. Temp was 104 degrees. Nursed her again for another hour. Came downstairs. Found cat poop. Cleaned cat poop. Oldest child came downstairs. Wanted milk. Went into kitchen. Discovered suspicious smell in kitchen area coming from baby. Found poop all over baby, all over saucer chair, all over kitchen floor. Surprisingly little poop actually in baby’s diaper. Cleaned baby, saucer chair and kitchen floor. Finally had breakfast.
Called pediatrician and made appointment. Took a bath with kids in the bathroom to keep them out of trouble. No fun had by anyone. Too much yelling and toilet paper flinging. Got dressed. (oldest child miraculously dressed herself). Nursed baby, who fell asleep. Woke baby up to go to pediatrician. Eldest child screamed all the way there because I didn’t have time to get her a drink before we left. Spent all morning in doctor’s office to find out baby has an ear infection and is cranky as hell. Went to pharmacy to drop off perscription. Went across town to Wendy’s because eldest insisted Wendy’s is much better than Tropical Smoothie place. Got lunch, drove back to pharmacy. Got perscription. Came home. Sat down to eat lunch. Heard a series of wet explosions. Had to check baby and foyer. Baby was clean, foyer was not. Cleaned carpet again. Cleaned macaroni off of baby. Sent oldest to play in her room (where she is miraculously staying for the time being). Nursed baby to sleep. Going to work now. Will eat pizza tonight because it’s easy and I’m beat. Will probably post this whole e-mail as a blog entry because I’m too damned tired to write anything else original today.
Your wife, Helen
Michael got home yesterday. However, I still haven’t gotten enough sleep to realize this fact and celebrate properly by sending him out with both kids to get me coffee and a bagel. I’m so tired.