The Human Pacifier

Nothing is more tedious than trying to nurse a sleepy baby. Really. Sam will not stay awake when we nurse. She falls asleep at the boob and just makes these little tiny sucks that aren’t getting her the milk she needs, leaving me as over-inflated at the Good Year tire guy. I swear, my left breast is about to blow and this kid is just poking along. I’ve tried putting a wet washcloth to her neck, giving her a vigorous back rub, blowing in her ear, singing loudly and badly. Nada. Zip. Bupkis. She won’t wake up.

Until I put her to bed that is. Then she’ll be up all night until we sit back down again to nurse. That’s when she’ll drop back off peacefully, using my nipple as a big human pacifier. Then when I put her back down again, she’ll cry. I’ve spent three nights in a row in bed with this kid latched on the whole time. I got to stop this somehow.

Wish me luck.

About Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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