This is just me thinking out loud this morning. After spending a chaotic weekend adjusting to having my husband back at home, I am now confronting the next big change in my life - Cassie’s first day of preschool - and am trying to decide how to deal with it. She starts next week, and will be going on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for half-days. The idea initially was to give me a little time off so I could get some work done while she’s at school, but now I’m starting to wonder if that’s going to work. Sam continues to be difficult at bedtime, and she keeps me up all night. That can really screw up my day, you know. This morning, as a matter of fact, she was up at 4 AM, spitting up and fussing like nobody’s business. I finally handed her off to Michael at 4:45, my usual wakeup time, so I could get started on my day.

Why do I get up so early, you ask? Well, I have this lovely schedule planned out that involves me getting up at the butt-crack of dawn so I can fit in a few hours of work amidst all the chores and childcare I end up doing during the day. The first block of work time is from 5:30-6:30 AM, the second is from 8-10 AM, and the third is from 2-4 PM. The first and third scheduled blocks work just fine. At 5:30 AM, I’m usually the only one awake. Sometimes Sam is up, demanding to be nursed, but that’s not usually a problem. I can nurse her and write at the computer for an hour if I need to. The 2-4 PM work time occurs during Cassie’s afternoon nap, and that works really well, because I can usually get Sam down for an hour or more during that time as well. Plus, if I save drawing for that block of time, I can sort of let the work bleed over into the time after Cassie wakes up. I have very sneakily dubbed this time to be “Craft Time,” so I can hand Cassie some markers and paper and tell her that she and Mommy are going to draw pretty pictures for an hour or so. Hey, we get to spend time together and I get a little drawing practice in, so I’m happy.

Anyway, my early morning and late afternoon work hours are happening as planned. It’s that 8-10 AM block that’s a bit of a problem. Technically speaking, I haven’t started using this time for work just yet. Until Cassie heads off to preschool, 8-10 is pretty much playtime, where I do my best to keep my rambunctious child occupied. I’ve come to realize already though, that planning on doing any work during this time, even after Cassie starts school, is going to have some problems. First off, Cass is only going to be in school three mornings a week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’m not going to be able to use those hours. Second, Sam isn’t exactly cooperating with me on this schedule. I’d like her to take a morning nap from 8-10, but she’s usually wide awake then, so I’m not going to be able to get much work done.

**Sigh.** I don’t know what to do yet. Maybe I could reschedule that second block or I could forget about it entirely. I’d really like to have three separate work periods so I can handle three separate types of work - writing, animation, and drawing. I’m going to have to think about it some more.

Here’s today’s artwork. I’ve been practicing more figure drawing, especially problem areas like hands. Don’t be surprised if one of these days I post a drawing of nothing but feet, because I really stink at drawing those.



Figure drawing and hands - from 22 August 2006

Okay, we haven’t even started preschool yet, and already we’re having problems.

I told Cassie we would be visiting one of the local preschools today to see what it was like. I have to send her to preschool. I just can’t keep her occupied and active enough on my own. Cassie is starting to feel the loss of my full attention now that Sam is here, and it’s making her cranky and jealous. I feel bad about that, but infants take a lot of time to care for. As best as I can, I try to set aside some time to play with Cassie each day, but until Sam’s tummy trouble and late night screaming stop, it’s going to be hard. A lot of times, I’ve been lying on the floor playing dollies with Cassie, only to wake up half an hour later and find Cassie waiting patiently for me to resume our games.

So I’m going to send Cassie off to preschool where she can be with other kids and get in plenty of playtime and activity. She’s very excited about this. In fact, she’s a little over excited. Even though I told her this would just be a short visit and that preschool won’t actually begin until September, she assumes that this is the real deal and she will be starting full blown preschool today. In preparation for the big event, she dressed herself this morning in her favorite pink outfit (“Don’t I look lovely, Mommy?”) and packed two bags of essentials to take with her. Her essentials include a handful of Little People, her Magna Doodle, and some costume jewelry. Michael and I have tried to explain that she won’t be allowed to take all that stuff into the preschool with her. “But I need it!” she claims.

We’ve already had one temper tantrum over this preschool visit this morning. She wants to go right now. However, we’re not leaving for our visit for at least another hour. Needless to say, that was not what she wanted to here. I can already foresee a lot of kicking and screaming when our visit is over and she wants to stay but I need to take her home.

I should have known this was coming. Back in March when I first talked to Michael about signing up Cassie for preschool, I asked him if he thought she was ready for it. Cassie immediately piped up. “I go to preschool. I get on bus and say ‘Bye bye, Mommy.’” Boy if that wasn’t a kick in the head.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to get through this visit without any fuss from Cassie. Hopefully, after half an hour of touring the facilities, she won’t be so in love with the place that she’ll demand to stay. Hopefully, she won’t have a complete meltdown when I tell her it’s time to leave. And hopefully, she won’t spend the next six weeks demanding to go back right now.

Of course, you and I both know what ‘hopefully’ is going to get us.

Pray for me.