Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Chicago, day 04 – OMG! American Girl!!

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Day 04 of our trip was divided between laundry and sightseeing with my sister-in-law Julie. I love Julie. I hate doing laundry in a hotel. The Embassy's idea of laundry is to put one tiny washer and dryer on the 10th and 14th floor. The set up on the 10th was busy, so we had to make several trips back and forth between our hotel room on the 6th floor and the washing machine on the 14th. The kids were naturally bored. Meanwhile, I slaved over the last three days' worth of dirty undies.


Fortunately, Julie came to save us at noon. She whisked us away to the Disney store and then to the freakiest place on Earth, the American Girl Store. You know yours truly is not American Girl material, not by a long shot. I don't do the girlie girl thing, and I sure as hell don't get into dolls and kids wearing matching outfits. American Girl is just too mundane and too commercialized for me. I saw a lot of families walking through that store, Moms chasing after daughters who brought their dolls with them so they could get just the right accessories, Dads dragging behind, arms loaded with doll stuff. Someone should have put those guys out of their misery. Someone should have put me out of my misery. I was just freaked by the whole Stepford atmosphere. But Princess and Pixie were in seventh heaven, running from one display to the next, oohing and ahhing over the dolls and their overpriced stuff. All along, Julie just kept laughing at me. Remember how I said I loved my sister-in-law? Maybe not so much in the American Girl Store.


We ended up getting two small (6 inch) dolls. I insisted on the historical dolls, so we got Josephina for Princess and Kaya for Pixie. We also got books on each doll. Then Julie got us out of there before my stomach turned itself completely inside out. We hopped on a bus and headed back to the hotel where we deposited our loot, then headed back out for the Millenium Park.


Millenium Park was cool. We started off with the big Bean, which is a giant bean shaped chrome sculpture that reflects everything at weird angles. It's HUGE! And outside the Bean there were a group of kids doing a re-enactment of the big fight scene from Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. Then there was a display of modern sculptures by Chinese artists, as well as the fountain area. In the fountain area there are two tall pillars that display video images of faces. After these giant faces smile for a while, they purse their lips and spit, and a stream of water comes shooting out, soaking everyone. The girls loved it. After a while in there, we caught a rehearsal session of a local symphony (they were damned good!), and then Julie guided us back to our hotel.


Hubster came back a little later and took us out to dinner at a place called Big Bowl. They serve Thai, Chinese, etc., there, and all of it is good. But Pixie was a little too tired to enjoy. She fell asleep at the table, almost nodding off into her plate. Fortnately for Hubster, Big Bowl wasn't too far from our hotel, because I nominated him to carry our sleeping offspring back.


And that was day 04! Here are the pics:



Julie discusses the joys of American Girl with Princess (I didn't dare take a picture inside the store, for fear their security would break my arm).



Our loot after a day of shopping. Hubster is so broke now.



Fans re-enact the ending to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at the Bean.



More Harry Potter. Their MacGonigal was very good.



Julie (foreground) and the Bean (who's proper name escapes me, but I think it's called Cloud Reflection Sculpture or something like that).



Inside the Bean, looking up. Look for the bright flash. That's me with my camera, reflected in the celing (and Julie's ponytail is in the foreground).



Escher Princess...



...and Escher Pixie.



Giant Toy Dinosaur in the Millenium Park! Made in China.



Rinse and spit! Faces pillar in the Millenium Park.



At the symphony rehearsal, I asked Julie if Chicago was always like this. She said, "Like what? Awesome? Yeah, pretty much."



Dinner at Big Bowl. Pixie was worn out!


And that's pretty much day 04!

Chicago, day 03 – Shedd Aquarium

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Day 03 of Chicago, I was on my own with the kids. Hubster headed off very early that morning for his conference. I got up as he left, somehow pulled myself together (the day before had been very long) and then had to pry two cranky children out of bed. Once I got everybody up, dressed, and fed, I hustled the three of us out of the hotel and down the few blocks to the bus stop where we hopped onto the 146 again and headed back out to the vicinity of the wonderous Field Museum.


In the same area as the Field, there is also the Adler Observatory and the Shedd Aquarium. Princess and Pixie were determined to see fish this day, so the aquarium was our goal. Prior to that, we took a detour into the Children's Garden nearby the Field Museum. It's a small garden with some interesting sculptures and a giant spider web jungle gym thing that kept the kids entertained for an hour or so. I actually had to drag them from the jungle gym to the Shedd Aquarium, but the whining stopped once we got inside and caught our first glimpse of fish.


Princess desperately wants an aquarium of her own, so she was enraptured with the Coral Reef display in the center of the Shedd. We got there in time to see one of the feedings. A diver hand fed all the rays, sharks and fish while a woman stood outside the tank and explained what was going on. The diver had a mic set-up, so he was able to help narrate and answer questions. I told Princess and Pixie that when they were old enough, we'd take them scuba diving. Hubster and I have been diving once, off the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. I'm dying to go again someday.


After the feeding was over, we saw the display on the Rising Amazon, which looks at the annual flooding of the Amazon River and how it affects the people, plants and animals that live on the banks. Then we hit the Wild Reef display, which looks at the reefs in the Philipines, and the conservations efforts going on in that area to protect the wild life while still letting the local population survive off of fishing the reefs.


Then it was lunch time. I have to say, as much as I like the Shedd Aquarium, it's dining facilities leave something to be desired. The upper cafe is apparently dine-in. They had a side bar where I tried to order a small meal for myself and the kids, but apparently yours truly is too blind to see the sign (in white letters on a beige sign board) that says the side bar doesn't serve food until 2PM. So we headed downstairs to eat in the self-serve cafe, which turned out to be a zoo, and not the good kind. We finally got food, two bowls of macaroni and one bowl of chili, with drinks for the bargain price of $35, and escaped outside to eat on the terrace. The food was good, but for $35, I would have expected something gourmet.


After that, the kids claimed they were too tired to do any more and wanted to go back to the hotel and swim in the pool. I relented, and we magically made it back to the bus and then back to the hotel. I say magically because I know jack squat about public transportation, and because in spite of our best efforts, we have yet to be able to find a map of the bus routes in this part of Chicago. Our hotel doesn't carry such a map, which I think is an absolute disgrace, right up there with the $15 a day price for internet connection.


Anyway, we made it back to the hotel, got into our swim suits, and spent an hour in the pool. Then we waited for Hubster to return to the hotel. He decided to hit the Adler Observatory after his day at the conference, thinking we might be there, but he got there half an hour after we left to go back to the hotel. Still, he had a nice afternoon, and when he joined us back at the hotel, he took us to Portelli's, a place that serves some very good hot dogs. I had my first hot dog Chicago style, loaded with peppers, onions, mustard and a pickle spear. Once again, I was thankful for the walk to and back from the restaurant. Our meal wasn't huge (though the cost for four of us at Portelli's was cheaper than the cost for three of us at the Shedd cafeteria). But it was enough that I wanted the time and activity to help me digest. Along the way back, we stopped at Argo Tea for a quick cup. They have the world's best Darjeeling there!


And that was pretty much day 03. Here are the pics from that day:



Princess and Pixie at the entrance to the Children's Garden at Soldier Field.



They're over the moon about Chicago.



The spider-web jungle gym!



It's a loooooooong way down!



Each sculpture in the garden is a variation of the Earth...



Like this one, the Water Earth!



Feeding time at the Shedd Aquarium!



Crown of Thorns Sea Stars.



Is it a rock, or a fish?



I think we found Nemo...



You think this turtle can get us all the way back to our hotel?


And that's pretty much day 03!

Chicago, day 02 – Pirates and Evolution!

Sunday, August 16th, 2009

Our second day in Chicago turned out to be fantastic. For starters, the Embassy hotel gives out a nice free hot breakfast (though they're frikkin' misers with their internet connection; $15 a day!). After filling up on eggs and bacon, we headed out to the Field Museum. First we had to walk to the nearest stop, which was rather nice. I like walking around in Chicago, seeing the sights. For some reason, Chicago doesn't weird me out the way DC does. Maybe it's because of the part of Chicago I'm walking in; it's very nice here. But we had a few blocks walk to the bus stop, then we hopped on the 146 and rode to the Field Museum. We met my brother-in-law Pat and his wife Julie there. The girls love Uncle Pat and Aunt Julie (or Uncle Julie and Aunt Pat, as Pixie sometimes calls them), and I always appreciate having extra adults around to ride herd on the kids.


The Field Museum is HUGE! We spent all day there, at least 8 hours, and still only went through a couple of the exhibits. We saw their special exhibit on the slave ship Whydah (sp?) and the pirate Sam Bellamy. Then we hit the Underground exhibit, where the kids got a look at giant earth worms and other cool creepy crawlies that live underground. After that we saw the Egyptian exhibit, where we saw plenty mummies, wrapped and unwrapped. I saw a few things there that sparked some story ideas and Julie laughed every time I pulled out my notebook to write something down. It can't be helped. That's the nature of being a writer. I hate to let a go idea go.


After the Egyptians, we saw the exhibit on "This Evolving Earth." I don't think I've ever seen a better exhibit on biology and the development of life on this planet. I was pleasantly surprised to realize how much I actually knew about evolution, and at a few points I was lecturing to Julie on things like the advantages of sexual reproduction vs. asexual reproduction (and no, the word orgasm never once entered that discussion). Then as soon as I'd wrap up my little lecture, we'd turn around and discover a display on whatever it was I'd just talked about. Weird! It was like I was channeling my dad.


We stayed in the Field Museum until closing. On our way out, we hit the gift shop, where I was able to pick up a book based on the evolution exhibit. It has everything from the exhibit in it, so it's like taking that whole part of the museum home with me, right down to the fun little animated movies on "How to Become a Fossil" (step one: die!) and the pictures of hominid skulls and dinosaur bones. Can you tell how thrilled I am to have picked up that book?


After the museum, we took a quick break at the hotel room and then hooked up with Pat and Julie again at the Rain Forrest Cafe. Thankfully, we walked there and back, and thankfully I didn't eat anything too fattening. I usually put on a few pounds during vacations, but I'm hoping that with all the walking around, that won't happen this time. I need to be able to fit in my jeans when I get on the plane to come home (since I hear they don't usually let pantless people fly).


Here are a few pics from day 02:



The Field Museum!



Pat and Julie with our insect babies.



"Daddy, can I have a sarcophagus?" (BTW, Pixie says the sarcophaguses were her favorite part of the museum, and yes, she actually pronounced the word sarcophagus, much to the amazement of the woman sitting next to us on the bus back to our hotel.)



Pirates like to hang around the Field Museum. Apparently so do pterodactyls.



That's Dinosaur Sue in the foreground, one of the most complete T. Rex skeletons ever found, on display in the main hall of the Field Museum.



Princess and Aunt Julie meet Lucy, one of the earliest hominids.



What makes us human? Our ability to create tools and works of art...



Dinosaur Sue, from head on.



Of course we're evolved! Pat, Princess, Julie and Pixie sit with a close relative at the Rain Forrest Cafe.


And that was pretty much day 02!

Chicago, Day 01 – Arrival and Navy Pier

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Hubster signed up to present a paper at the AIAA conference in Chicago this month, and he signed us all up to go along. We do this sort of thing on a regular basis. He takes us to some far away place, drops us in a strange city, and runs off to play scientist while I have to figure out what to do with the kids. I was a little intimidated by the thought of hitting Chicago with a 3 year-old and a 6 year-old in tow, but so far this trip we've survived. Oh, and thanks to the fact that our hotel charges an arm and a leg for wireless access, I have no idea when these posts will get up. I'm writing this one in Chicago, but will probably not be able to post until I get back to good ol' Virginnie.


Having said that, here's a brief run down of day 01 of our trip, with photos.


Made it to the airport barely in time, and found our flight was delayed. Took a puddle jumper to Chicago airport. Lots of turbulence. Joy!


Rode a shuttle van to our hotel, and got a good look at traffic along the way. So damned glad we opted not to get a rental car. We barely survive the trip from the airport to the hotel, and our driver knew how to drive in Chicago.


After unloading our bags, we headed out to the Navy Pier, where there are tons of rides, games, and other attractions to enjoy. We played miniature golf. Well, three of us played mini golf. Pixie was too intent on clubbing the rest of us to death to pay attention to her ball. Not that Princess didn't try to kill us as well. She doesn't understand yet that mini golf is a putting game, not a full swing game of golf. Oy!



We also rode the carosel, and Princess and Hubster rode the big swings.




Look for the two-seater swing on the right side, the one with the guy in the big white sneakers. That's Hubster, with Princess beside him.


We managed to snag a table at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. due to the fact that half their kitchen broke, so they were only serving a limited menu that evening. Half the menu was good enough for us. I was pleasantly surprised to see they served normal sized portions, as opposed to the giganto-sized proportions I'm used to seeing in most restaurants these days. I like being able to eat an entire meal without feeling like I'm going to recreate the final scene from Monty Python's "The Meaning Of Life."


After that, we returned to the hotel for the evening and slept hard.


Fabulous quote from day 01 of the trip - "If you hit your sister in the head, the game is over!" (Said to Princess during mini golf.)


Second fabulous quote from day 01 - "Quit horsing around!" (Said to both girls while riding the carousel.)

The Bag Dilemma

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Prior to leaving for Chicago this week, I spent two days packing for three people - me, Princess, and Pixie. (Hubster is on his own with this chore.) We've taken enough family trips that I've gotten pretty good at getting the three of us stuffed into one suitcase. I know exactly how many sets of underpants, socks, shorts, jeans, etc., to bring. What I don't know, what I can never figure out, is what purse to bring.


Well, purse isn't exactly the right word for it. I don't like to carry makeup with me, and I usually prefer to keep my wallet safely zipped in a pants pocket, so I don't do the girly girl thing and carry a purse. What I do like to carry is: a drawing pad; a mechanical pencil; an art eraser; a set of drawing pens; maybe some drafting tools; also a composition notebook and ballpoint pen for writing down any story ideas I get. If I'm thinking clearly, I'll also toss in a travel-sized bottle of hand sanitizer, my cell phone, and coupons for whatever bookstore I'm headed out to that day. So it's more of an art/writing bag, and I've got bags of various sizes set up with exactly this sort of kit. I've got a tiny one with the world's smallest drawing pad and notebook for quick trips out, a larger bag with Jack Skellington on it for when I want to look truly goth, and a sturdy red bag with water bottle pockets that's handy for a long day's adventure.


Unfortunately, these bags all work best for when I'm running around my home town. When I'm about to get on an airplane for a long trip, not so much. The problem is, these bags will only hold what I've already listed, but they will not hold my beloved netbook. My little Asus EEE is too big for even the largest of those three bags. I do have a messenger bag big enough to hold the Asus and all the other stuff, but that bag is too big to lug around on a sight seeing trip and it's covered in pins and metallic goo-gaws so it's no good for airport security.


What I'd like to get is one more bag, something in between the size of the red art bag and the big messenger bag, something I wouldn't cover in pins and something that would still hold a water bottle in case the kids and I get thirsty when we spend a day sightseeing. I haven't found that bag yet. This bag is the closest I've come so far, but as you can see, no pockets for water bottles.


I suppose I could go with a backpack; I do have a couple of those. But the backpacks I have are too big and heavy for toting around all day and I always worry about somebody sneaking up behind me and stealing something out of the bag when I'm not paying attention (paranoid, I know). So, I'll keep looking. For Chicago, I am taking a backpack, but I'm stuffing my sturdy red bag into it along with the netbook. That way I can leave the backpack and netbook in the hotel and travel carefree with the smaller bag during the day.


If you know of a bag that would solve my problem, send me a link so I can check it out! I really do need to solve this whole bag dilemma.

What Price Peace (and Quiet)?

Friday, July 31st, 2009

I'm trying to work, but both kids just came running into the room.


"Mama! Mama! Pixie wants a piece of chocoloate!" Princess screams.


Pixie dances around, something small and most likely chocolate clutched in her tiny hands.


I look at the pile of work on my desk and sigh. "Do you two know what *I* want?"


Pixie gets a funny look on her face as she cogitates this. "Um, world peace?"


"Exactly," I say. "When I get what I want, you can have what you want."


Princess bobs her head. Pixie keeps squealing and spinning in circles, smooshing chocolate in her hand.


"So does that mean we can have the chocolate?" Princess asks.


**If that's what it takes to get some peace and quiet...**

Drama vs. Contentment

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

I recently had a brush with someone else's drama. It was not the natural disaster sort of drama, nor was it the death-in-the-family sort of deal where the tragedy that happens in unavoidable and there's no way out but through it. Rather, this was a sort of self-inflicted sort of thing, many years in the making, that was brought about by bad decisions, refusal to communicate, and an unreasonable expectation that everything, especially the people you love, should be perfect or at least better than they are.


I hate this kind of drama. First, it's sad to see people's lives combust right before your eyes. But second, it really is self-inflicted, and it's mainly because of that mindset that everything in life should be without flaw. People, jobs, relationships are not perfect. They never will be perfect. And when you get involved with any of these things, when you make a long term commitment to someone or to something, you ought to understand at the start that there will be mistakes and rough patches and even a little outright misery.


And you know what? That's okay.


Seriously, this is where the Buddhist in me comes out. When Buddha said "Life is suffering," I think what he meant was, "There are tough times in life, and there's no way to avoid them." And that's true enough. But I also think he meant that people want things to be perfect no matter what, and they get upset when things turn out to be otherwise. Things, people, and situations are all impermanent. They CHANGE. What was perfect one day will be flawed and blemished then next. And that's okay. It's the natural state of things. Nothing lasts forever. But people refuse to see that, refuse to accept that the job they took on now has additional or different responsibilities, the person they made friends with has picked up (or probably always had) annoying bad habits, that the house they bought has bad plumbing, etc., etc., etc. And that refusal to accept always leads to anger and strife and worry and misery.


And people wonder why they're suddenly so unhappy with their once perfect lives.


I figured out a long time ago that nothing was ever going to be perfect in my life. I have a husband I love. He's handsome, smart, responsible, kind, generous, and good with kids. He also drives me nuts with his coupon clipping, his budgeting, his technobabble, the way he riles up the girls right before bedtime, the way he leaves his shoes lying around, his mile-wide streak of perfectionism. We've had more shouting matches and head butting over these things than I can recall. And somehow, we're still married after 16 years.


Then I have these two beautiful daughters. They're smart, funny, loving, healthy. They fight non-stop some days and drive me batty with endless questions and attitude and tantrums, not to mention their refusal to eat a meal I made because they specifically asked for it, and oh, did I mention the youngest scribbled on my freshly painted walls, and the oldest can't focus on her homework to save her life some days? The whining and the fussing and the fighting never end. Yet somehow, I look at them and think, "I want a third. One more baby would make this family complete."


I love my parents. They're far from perfect. I love my friends. They don't hit that goal of perfection either. And you know what? Neither do I. I nag, I bitch, I get angry, I yell. I'm rude, obnoxious, a loud-mouth. I'm carrying around an extra 10 lbs I can't seem to lose no matter what and my oldest child tells me my butt jiggles funny when I run.


No, nothing is ever perfect. But there's plenty in life that's good enough, and I want to appreciate those things as much as I can. Case in point. Hubster and I were rather shell shocked after being hit by the shrapnel of someone else's drama (and that's my biggest bitch about drama; it doesn't just affect those directly involved, it takes out the bystanders too). Feeling nervous, upset, out of sorts, we deliberately decided to take stock of what we had. We had dinner as a family, laughing and joking with the girls. We ate fortune cookies and giggled over the ludicrous fortunes we got. We read comic books together and tucked the girls into bed with kisses and songs. Then we curled up together on the couch to watch a movie. Before we went to sleep, we made love.


None of it was perfect. Pixie wouldn't eat her dinner and threw a tantrum when she only got one fortune cookie because of that. Princess pouted and whined over not getting extra stories or being allowed to stay up late. Hubster and I argued over how good the movie was when it was over, me rolling my eyes yet again at his elitist standards for cinema. And the sex? It was comfortable, not earth-shattering.


And I'm good with all of that. Really, I am. It's a quiet life with minor issues, and I don't set out to make mountains out of molehills by digging up every little thing that goes wrong. And I think that's good, because when the mountains do come along, the real ones like a natural disaster or a death in the family, I know I'll still have the solid ground of a contented life to keep me steady on my feet.


*****


Helen's list of contentment's for today:



  • Two little girls who love singing along to Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

  • Waking up with a half-decent story idea in my head for today's writing

  • Cheese and onion pie with fruit salad and iced coffee at the Briar Patch Tea room

  • Running into an old friend at lunch and reminiscing about the days I used worked at the newspaper

  • Reading Bone by Jeff Smith to my girls

  • Having time to do random doodling on in my sketch book

  • Picking up an old paperback I've had for years and finally starting to read it (Gojiro by Mark Jacobson)

  • Summer dresses and nice weather

  • Long phone calls with my friends

  • Learning how to knit a potholder

  • Watching Stranger Than Fiction with the Hubster and discovering Will Ferrel can really act

  • Sleeping late, curled up with the man I love. He smelled too good and felt too comfy for me to get out of bed.


Really, what more could I want than all this?

Move It Mama Monday! So How Many Plants Have I Killed?

Monday, July 13th, 2009

I know, I know. I'm running late again. I apologize. The Hubster had a paper to write this weekend for a big important conference, so my little blogging adventures kind of got pushed to the side by a double helping of weekend child-rearing activities. It's okay though. I'm here now.


Anyway, I thought I'd talk a little about Operation Kill A Lot Of Plants, since I haven't mentioned it in a while. So far, most of the plants are doing... okay. Not terrific, but not dead. For some reason, a few of the plants had a delayed growth spurt and are only just now graduating from sproutling to actual plant. The vegetables we planted aren't exactly producing a bumper crop, probably because I started the seeds so late. I have been told that next year I need to start my seeds in February, which leads me to wonder where the hell I'm going to keep all those tiny plants for the two plus months I'll have to wait until we're past the final frost (which I have been told is on Tax Day in April). I also may have not helped things by trying to make a homemade pesticide out of apple cider vinegar, dish soap and hot sauce. That recipe came out of a gardening book I have, and I thought it would help kill the leaf eating pests we've been having problems with. Well it did, but it also caused the plants to shrivel up and nearly die too.


In spite of my attempts at planticide, we do have a few ears of corn coming up, but the bugs got one and now the others seem to afraid to come out of their husks. We have the odd tiny green tomato and banana pepper hanging on the plant. The herbs have done the best, though for some reason my basil took forever to hit puberty (do plants do puberty? I dunno).


The best grower by far has been the beans we planted. I have no frikkin' clue anymore what kind of beans we've planted, but they grew like weeds, trailing all around the tomato cages I set up around them. We harvested about 25 pods and got enough beans out of those to feed myself and both girls one serving of beans each. They turned purple when I boiled them (the beans, not the girls), and the girls thought that was a little too weird so yours truly is the only one who would eat them. For the record, if I die suddenly in the next few days, it was probably the beans.


The rest of the yard isn't looking too bad, except for the one side where the Hubster planted a slew of creeping juniper a few years back. I hate creeping juniper. Weeds get in there and the only way to kill them is to reach into the prickly, scratchy branches of the juniper to pull them out. I tore up my arms good this past weekend and only managed to weed about a square foot. I've still got another twelve square feet or so to go. Joy!


But the flower garden in the side yard looks good, as does the small herb garden in the back, plus a few other odds and ends I've managed not to kill over the years. Here are a few photos I took a week or so ago.



Princess, standing by the towering Russian blue sage in the side flower garden. I've also got some calla lilies in there, plus some daisies, yarrow and button flowers and a few other things I can't recall the names of.



The containers of herbs on the back deck. Note the delightful chalk art the kids drew for me!



Our vegetable container garden. The big bushy thing is the beans I ate that are probably going to kill me. And next to that is our stunted corn.



A mixed pot of sunflowers, colieosus, and marigolds. Probably the weirdest combination of plants ever thrown together, but they're doing pretty good. Nothing's blooming yet, of course...



This is not my garden. This is Norfolk Botanical Garden, about an hour from where I live. Norfolk Botanical Garden is gorgeous. I wish I could get my yard to look even a little bit like it. Yes, they teach gardening classes there. Would they help improve my black thumb? Probably not. Drives me crazy.


Anyway, that's what's going on with Operation Kill A Lot Of Plants. It's not a roaring success, but we are getting outside and digging around in the dirt, and I consider that a sign of success, even if all we manage to grow is a bunch of purple beans that kill me.

Play Dates and the Bad Mom

Friday, June 12th, 2009

Am I a bad mom? I ask myself this question much as I'm sure every mom must ask it when a conflict arises between Mom giving the kids what they want versus doing Mom doing something for herself. In my case, what my kids, Princess specifically, are asking for lots of play dates. What I'm asking for is a couple of hours to myself every afternoon to do some work.


It's a sticky issue. There aren't a lot of little girls Princess' age in the neighborhood. Only two, to be exact. Everyone else is either a boy, and only wants to hang with other boys, or quite a few years older than Princess. Of the two little girls who are Princess' age, one is getting ready to leave for a cross-country trip this summer. The other lives within walking distance, but I'd have to walk over with Princess (no biggie, I can always use the exercise) AND... Pixie is not invited to go with her.


I hate that. As with Princess, there are only two children in the neighborhood around Pixie's age. One of them is sister to the girl who's about to leave on that cross-country trip, so she won't be around either. The other is allergic to just about everything under the sun, so arranging play dates requires a lot of pre-planning and logistical discussion (choosing a restaurant can we all eat at, scrubbing my kids down before going over to make sure they're allergen-free, etc.).


So essentially, Pixie is out of luck in the local friends department. I've made arrangements to have Princess' one little friend come over here a couple of mornings a week, to ensure that Pixie isn't left out when the girls play together, but even then it's a crap shoot they'll all get along. Every time this particular kid comes over, she has a nasty habit of dragging Princess into her room and slamming the door on Pixie, who then comes sobbing to me. I'm going to try to prevent that scenario from happening this summer by making the kids play outside all morning while I garden (and I've already told the other mom that's going to be the rule - girls stay outside!). Even so, I can't guarantee Pixie will included in the older girls' games.


All this means I'm not inclined to have Princess' friend over every day of the week (especially since she also annoys the hell out of me). In fact, I'm thinking along the lines of one or two mornings a week at most. Then I've got a standing agreement to meet with a friend of mine and her kids one morning a week. Patty's got two boys, one Princess' age and one Pixie's age. It's a bit of a drive to get together with them, but doable once a week. That gives us three mornings a week of play dates. And of course I've planned to take one day a week for day trips, just me and the girls, to the beach, the museum, Busch Gardens... I'm thinking that's pretty good right? Plenty of activity all summer and lots of play dates with other kids!


Except Princess keeps whining that she wants to see her one girlfriend every day, in the afternoon, either at her house, where Pixie is not invited to come play, or here, where I will be hard at work writing the next great American smut novel.


My plan was that I would devote the entire first half of the day to the girls - play dates, gardening, going to the pool, throwing water balloons, karate classes, arts and crafts, etc. Princess' little friend could come over during that time and join us for some outdoor fun. Then we'd come in for lunch and after lunch, when it's hot enough outside you could fry an egg on the front porch, the girls would go upstairs to their rooms and play together. Quietly. While I worked in the office for a few hours.


I thought that arrangement sounded quite fair. They'd get to see friends and have all the fun they wanted in the mornings, I'd get the work time I so desperately need in the afternoon. But when I discuss this with Princess, I get a lot of arguing about how it isn't fair, she never gets to see her friends often enough, she's bored, she's lonely, why can't she play outside by herself, she won't run out into the street, she won't let her sister run out into the street, the three girls could play very quietly in her room and no one would fight or set the house on fire while I was working, etc., etc., etc.


Am I wrong? Should I try to have Princess' friend over in the afternoons? Or have I set a reasonable schedule for all of us? I can't say. I will say I'm not budging from that schedule. No kidding, I have a novel to write this summer, and a website to massively update. I can't afford not to work those hours. Princess will get to see her friend once or twice a week, see some other kids once a week, and go on some fun trips every week. That's enough, right?


Now to figure out how to quit feeling like a bad mom every time she asks for a play date...

Pixie Turns Three!

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Pixie turned 3 on Tuesday, and I'm very pleased to say we all survived the day. Here's a few pictures from the eventful day.



Pixie and her sister, Princess. They don't always get along this well, of course.



The Birthday Girl enjoys her favorite breakfast while watching Handy Manny.



The big present of the day was a doll house. To be specific, my old doll house from when I was a child. My mom provided all new furnishings. Both girls enjoyed it immensely.



Yep, someone's having a happy birthday!


The success of the doll house was a bit of a surprise. I had been planning for a while to give my old doll house to one of the girls. One of the moms on our street told me that during one play date, Pixie had been obsessed with the doll house they had there, so I decided she could have it for her birthday, and then share it with her sister (doll houses are more fun when you have someone to share them with). It is an old doll house. My grandmother gave it to me when I was about 6 or 7, as a Christmas present. She was the only grandparent I ever knew, my maternal grandfather and paternal grandmother and grandfather having died before I was a year old. I still remember the day I got it, and I held onto it for ever, keeping it tucked away in the closet. When I pulled it out to give to Pixie, it still had all the original furniture in it, wrapped in tissue paper. We pulled out each piece to look at before putting the new doll house furniture in. Once I had the girls upstairs happily playing with their new toy, I came downstairs and cried. That I really hadn't expected, but seeing that doll house got me thinking about my grandmother and how thrilled she would have been to see the kids playing with it. She died several years ago, long before Michael and I had kids.


Anyway, I wrapped up the old doll furniture and tucked it away in a box. I suppose I could have given Pixie the old furniture, but the old stuff is wood, and old, and I worry that it's not up to the strain of being played with by an enthusiastic three-year-old. Besides, Pixie's new furniture all matches. Still, my old stuff was pretty nice...