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Ah, the joys of shaving cream pies. There’s nothing like hitting an upper classman with a pie, so long as you hit the right upper classman.
Back in my day, we had to get permission to pie an upper classman, and the person we got that permission from had to be of a higher rank than the person we pied, so it was very important that you pied your intended target and not some other upper classman. Otherwise, you might wind up in a bit of trouble. Of course, the upper classman who gave you permission might get in trouble too, even if you did get your target right. I can recall one evening we pied our battalion XO as she was coming up the stairs with a freshly delivered pizza. We creamed her and the pizza, and when we were done, she demanded to know who gave us permission.
“The battalion CO, ma’am!” we all chirped.
“I am so going to kill him!” she growled, and then she disappeared down the hall to the battalion CO’s room. A bit of screaming soon followed, and a little while later, the battalion CO came out into the hall wearing a shaving cream pizza.
“Ladies,” he told my buds and I as he wiped pizza sauce and shaving cream from his face, “Never, EVER tell the battalion XO who gave you permission to pie her!”
So, remember two things. Always hit the right target and never give away vital information to the enemy.
The end.
