Archive for April, 2010

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Sunday Contentments – Being lazy…

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

Maybe it's a bad thing, but I've become a bit lazy lately, and I don't exactly care. For the last year or so, I'd been getting up at 4:45 to work on the Heat Flash Erotica podcast and then plunging into the rest of the day. I finally reached the point where I had to stop this. First off, it felt like I was living in a separate time zone from the rest of the family. Second, I had reached a point where I was so tired, I wasn't getting up a lot of morning, and when I was, I was pretty much a walking corpse.

So I changed my schedule to let me sleep until 6AM, and some mornings I sleep later than that. And I don't think it's a bad thing. My schedule is still killing me (I need to cut back on work, and come this fall, I will definitely be pushing a few things off my plate for good). However, I feel more human when I wake up in the morning.

And then there are mornings like Friday...

One of the best things about sleeping in until 6 or later is that I get to snuggle with the Hubster. I love snuggling with that man. He's warm and cuddly and he smells just right when I curl up next to him. Last Thursday morning I really didn't want to get out of bed. But we had to get the kids off to school and Hubster had a meeting and I had work... So as we were climbing out of bed I suggested to my darling mate that the next morning we simply go back to bed after the kids went to school.

And he said yes.

Long story short, there was much cuddling and snuggling Friday morning, interspersed with napping and other activities. Yes, I'm an erotica writer. No, I'm not giving you the details. I will simply say that it was one of the best mornings I've had in a long time, and I highly recommend that if you ever get the chance, get the kids out of the house one morning (to school, to the sitter, to Grandma's, etc.) and then go back to bed. You will not regret it.

So there's my contentment for this week - a loving husband and a serious bout of laziness that has set me to rights after a very long couple of weeks. Hope you're just as content wherever you are.

Posted in Sunday Contentments | No Comments »

Science of Sex – Does Porn Contribute to Social Anxiety Disorder?

Friday, April 16th, 2010

Here's an article that caught my attention right off the bat:

Was the Cowardly Lion Just Masturbating Too Much?

Aside from the bizarre title, the article is a fascinating read. Essentially, it discusses how addiction to porn and masturbation can lead to increased social anxiety, mainly because of low dopamine levels that occur after orgasm. Low dopamine levels are associated with social anxiety, and the idea is that people who frequently masturbate are leaving themselves dopamine depleted between self-induced sexual highs. Of course, dopamine surges during orgasm, and people really like that surge, so if people are masturbating excessively, they sort of lock themselves into a vicious circle - masturbate to feel good, then feel awful after you come down, so you masturbate some more to feel good again, and then wind up dopamine depleted again so you feel lousy once more, so to perk up you wank, etc., etc., etc.

The article offers anecdotal evidence of former addicts who have given up the porn and rediscovered their social lives. There is no formal study listed here, but some very interesting quotes from experts on addiction, social anxiety, and the workings of the brain during masturbation all come together to form what I consider to be a coherent article (far more coherent than the so-called academic study on the mating habits of women as found in romance novel titles, anyway).

It's interesting stuff, and it's really got me thinking about the old argument porn vs. erotica. If addiction to porn, and thus masturbation, leads to problems with enjoying real life relationships, does the same hold true for erotica? This is assuming, of course, that erotica is a different genre.

To me, they are two different things. Porn is sexually explicit material created with the intent to arouse (i.e. bring about that dopamine spike that comes with orgasm). And that's the only purpose of porn. It exists for no other reason.

Erotica, on the other hand, is a genre that looks at how sex and its related issues (STDs, relationships, economics, etc.) affect people. At least, that's my definition of it. For example, why do we choose to have sex with a particular partner? Why do we sometimes choose to abstain? What's it like to be HIV positive in today's world? How about in tomorrow's world? How could sexually transmitted diseases evolve in the future and how might they affect us? And do we really buy the toothpaste with extra whitening power because we believe that whiter teeth will make us sexier and thus make it easier to get laid? Or are we just buying it because we like the sexy model in the commercial?

And so on. I like it if my erotica stories manage to be sexually arousing at the same time, because hey, I like feeling aroused as much as anyone else (that dopamine sure is addictive!). But I wonder if putting content of more substance into those stories might somehow negate the negative effects of porn addiction. Does having a plot, characterization, and an actual theme give the mind enough to combat potential addiction? In other worse, is erotica better for you than porn?

The fact is, I've never heard of anyone being addicted to erotica. But then, maybe someone is.

What do you guys think?

*****

If you're looking for some erotica to listen to, check out my podcast, Heat Flash Erotica. This week's story is called "Mirror, Mirror." It's a naughty little fairy tale about the hazzards of playing dress up. And if you're looking for a free read, stop by the Erotica Readers and Writers Association. I've got a story up on the sexual hazzards of computer viruses, entitled Going Viral ;)

Posted in Science of Sex | 5 Comments »

Rats! Episode 14 – This is killing me!

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

I cannot tell you how dead tired I am right now. I spent last weekend at Ravencon, partying like I was still in my early twenties which I'm not. And now, even half a week later, I'm still dragging ass and trying to catch up on work. It's killing me, I tell ya.

Of course, PT used to kill me too. I can recall all too well getting up at 4:30AM (or 0430 for you military types) to trek all the way across campus to Lane Stadium to run stadium steps for an hour for ROTC. Well, I didn't exactly run the stadium steps, not after the first lap. I more like limped as fast as I could up the steps and tried not to dry heave all over the place.

Yes, I was the cadet who could barely make the 2-mile run, and had to struggle to crank out even 10 push-ups. While I had taken quite a few dance classes and been a member of the marching band in high school, I was in no way prepared for the physical demands of being a cadet, especially not when you threw in sleep deprivation on top of everything else. To this day, I don't know how I finally managed to eventually pass the APFT. I flat out hated PT sessions, and couldn't stand running in formation (I was always tripping over the guy in front of me, or tripping up the guy behind me). However, once I graduated and got my commission, things sort of turned around. I eventually got good enough at PT to score a 260 out of 300 on the APFT, and to this day I do my best to stay active - running, water aerobics, 4 hours of karate class most weeks, etc. I'm a little heavier than I was back in college, but I can still wear the same size clothing, so I guess I'm doing something right.

Anyway, the cartoon above best spells out how I felt about ROTC and the VTCC at any given time. And it's also my favorite of all the Rats! cartoons I ever drew. I recall the night I finished drawing it, I thought it was perfect! And then I accidentally knocked a whole can of Coke over the finished product...

So after much swearing and tearing out of my hair, I sat down and redrew the cartoon all over again. And it was still my favorite cartoon the second time around.

Hope you all enjoy today's cartoon.

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Posted in Cartoon, Rats! | No Comments »

ACW Episode 63 – De-evolution of a Fan

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

I am soooooooooooooooo tired.

I'm not exactly sure how this week's cartoon got done. I do them a day in advance, so I'm writing this on Monday, the day after getting back from Ravencon. I spent the previous three days whooping it up and having a grand old time, drinking too much soda, getting too little sleep, chatting until 2AM with friends I only see a few times a year... I'm wiped out.

Anyway, Ravencon is a great convention. I usually go just as a fan and spend the entire weekend volunteering (which is also fun but exhausting). I've noticed that at the age of 41, recovering from conventions seems a little harder. Maybe that's just my imagination though. Maybe staying up all night 2 or 3 nights in a row has always been this debilitating to me. I don't know. It's not something I do very often, and that's probably a good thing.

Anyway, I had a great time, and I even got to participate in this year's Live Mr. Adventure Show! It's a pulp style podcast adventure recorded live at various conventions throughout the year, produced by Outcast Multimedia (aka Podcasting's Mr. Rich Sigfrit). I'll post a link to the episode when it becomes available online.

But right now I've got to drag my sorry ass out to the bus stop and resume my role as responsible adult. I'm figuring it will take me at least a week to recover from the con and my parents' visit last week, but I'll do my best to get back on track as quickly as I can.

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Posted in Cartoon, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman | No Comments »

Science of Sex – Female Viagra

Friday, April 9th, 2010

Would you, could you? Ladies, if there was a little blue pill for women, would you take it or not? That's the question that's been on my mind lately in light of articles I've read on the subject. There's been a lot of talk about how unfair it is that men have a cure for their sexual disfunction, but women don't. Now pharmaceutical companies are all racing to change that. But is this a good idea? The fact is, female sexual disfunction is different from male sexual disfunction. One article I've read points out that while "men need a place for having sex, women need a purpose." In other words, Viagra-type drugs may not do it for women simply because the problem isn't physical (or just physical), it's mental/emotional.

The number one complaint women have regarding their sex lives is that they've lost interest in having sex, whereas with men it's that they've lost the capacity to have sex (i.e. they can't get an erection). Which makes me wonder why female sexual disfunction is being treated like a medical condition in need of a pill in the first place. I know the reasons why my libido isn't as lusty as it used to be, and it has nothing to do with being physically incapable of having sex. A lot of it comes down to the facts that A) I have two small children who just about wear me out; and B) when I'm not chasing after the kids, I'm working, which also wears me out. My problem isn't inability to have sex; it's stress and sleep deprivation, two factors that have an amazing capacity to kill sexual desire. A pill isn't going to cure my reasons for not feeling the need to breed.

Of course, I suppose there is a physical side to my less-than-lusty libido. I am now in my 40s, and so my body doesn't do or want to do the things it used to do. Hormone levels have changed, as they are supposed to with age. There have been some forays into looking at hormone therapy to fix these problems, but again, if my body is supposed to undergo these changes, do I really want to turn back the clock by flooding my system with testosterone of some other chemical?

I guess what I'm asking here is do I miss the libido and sexual drive of my 20s, enough to want to take a pill and 'cure' things? Well, yes and no. I really would enjoy being ready to have sex at the drop of a hat again, like I did back in my youth, but I also recall that I got very little done beyond bedding the Hubster back in those days (in fact, it's a wonder he and I managed to graduate from college, we were that busy with each other). My memories of our early relationship are just one big blur of sex, sex, sex, pizza, and sex.

The fact is, there is more to life than sex and the occasional pizza (and yes, this is coming from an erotica writer). And there's definitely more to a relationship than just sex and pizza (yep, still coming from an erotica writer). Sexual relationships change over time and that's not a bad thing. The Hubster and I are still madly, deeply in love with each other even if we're not constantly tearing each others' clothes off. We do kinky stuff like talking instead, or going out to museums. You know, boring old-fart stuff. And we like it.

If however, you are not happy dealing with a lower libido, and if you think a lack of libido is killing your relationship with the one you love, then again I ask.

Would you, could you take a little blue pill to cure it all?

Here are a few articles on the topic of femal Viagra, including the drug f:

The Search for a Female Viagra

Failed anti-depressant drug could be 'women's Viagra'

New trials of female sexual dysfunction drug (Flibanserin) will be reported this week

'Female Viagra' discovery claim

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Posted in Science of Sex | No Comments »

Rats! Episode 13 – Pie Day!

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Pie Day is another one of those customs that I don't know if they do anymore in the VTCC or not. Essentially, Pie Day is what it says it is, as illustrated in the cartoon above. Freshman cadets got to choose their "favorite" upperclassmen to pie (that is, to smack in the face with a paper plate full of shaving cream or sometimes whipped cream). Pie-ing was a fun activity on any day, but on Pie Day, it was a big deal, with the entire corps out there watching to see who got voted to be pied and who was going to do the pie-ing. Or rather, who thought the were going to do the pie-ing. Some of those upperclassmen did not go down without a fight.

In order to pie someone any other day, you had to get permission, and that permission had to come from someone higher up in the chain of command than the person you wanted to pie. My freshman year, all the females were stuck in one end of Rasche Hall on the fourth floor (I lived in room 416, for the curious). The 2nd Battalion staff also lived in that same area, including the battalion XO, a formidable woman by the name of Cadet Major Wist (I think that was her name anyway; I do recall she seemed rather intense and scary). Well, all the female rats in my company got permission from the 2nd Battalion commander to pie the XO, and we ambushed her in the stairwell one evening when she was coming up with a fresh, hot pizza she'd just had delivered. Both the pizza and the XO ended up covered in shaving cream. I recall Cadet Major Wist asking us very calmly who had given us permission to pie her, and when we told her, she headed to the Battalion CO's room and trashed it thoroughly. So we kind of got a two-fer-one there against the upperclassmen.

Back when I worked as a government contractor at an Air Force base, I occasionally ran into some of those upper classmen. It was always a little odd to see them again, now in the military and working hard at their jobs. I went into the Army Reserves after college, and I occasionally ran into a few of my fellow classmates there as well. Since leaving the workforce and the military, I don't run into anyone any more. If any of you guys are out there reading this, either from Hotel '91 or just from the VTCC at any point in time, feel free to give a yell. I won't bite, I promise, and I swear I will not hit you with a shaving cream pie...

Unless someone higher ranking than you gives me permission to do so.

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Posted in Cartoon, Rats! | 4 Comments »

Weekly Doodle – Another Robot and Butterfly

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

This is the sketch that inspired the Art Rage painting last week. I try to keep a sketch pad and drawing pens on hand, in case I get the urge to doodle. Sometimes I'll go as long as a couple of months without doodling, which is stupid because I really ought to draw at least a few minutes a day. Other times, I'll draw on a daily basis. I suppose this on again/off again cycle has a lot to do with my schedule. It's hard to do anything on a daily basis when I'm already writing a different story every week. That's going to change come this fall, because I need to give myself a bit of a break. And because I want to draw more.

Anyway, I've been drawing lots of little robots lately. Sometimes they have little word balloons over their heads like this one does, with jokes told entirely in Steam Punk, the native tongue of robots. This one was drawn on a 3.5" x 5" sketch pad with Faber Castell's sanguine art pen set. I mainly used the brush pen with the small point pens for detail work. The initial sketch was done with a mechanical pencil. I love mechanical pencils for sketching. I always get a much crisper drawing when I use a mechanical pencil.

Posted in Art, Doodles, Traditional | No Comments »

ACW Episode 62 – Plant markers?! We don’t need no stinkin’ plant markers!

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

So I started a bazillion little seeds in my kitchen over a month ago for this year's Operation Black Thumb, and now I have a couple dozen seedlings struggling along. Yes, the attrition rates have been high this year! Not sure what the problem is, but I'm starting to think I need to get some grow lights if I start from seed again next year because I just don't have a decent sunny spot in my house to set up seedlings. Patty has grow lights. Of course, Patty's like a gardening genius, so she knows what she's doing.

Patty is the other character in this week's cartoon. She's made one other appearance in ACW, and no I'm not going to link to it because I've only got a little time to post this before my parents come banging on the door telling me it's time to do something. Yes, my parents are here. Yes, they will come looking for me if they want me to do something. I'm 41 and still taking orders. It sucks, but on the other hand my mom usually springs for a nice trip to the book store, so there.

Any way, Patty. Patty does square foot gardening, and she thinks I should try it. I think I should try it too, if only because it will give me a more organized way to kill plants. "Yes, this square foot is the burial plot for our tomatoes, and this square foot is for zucchinis. This square foot is still available though, Mr. Bell Pepper, so if you're looking for a nice final resting place amongst friends..."

Patty has promised to help me with my garden. Which means Patty is crazier than I am. But I knew that when she offered to host this year's Easter Egg Hunt at her place.

Thank god for Patty.

I'll be at RavenCon in Richmond, VA, this weekend, volunteering for the convention. If you go and you see horns, it's most likely me!

Posted in Cartoon, The Adventures Of Cynical Woman | 4 Comments »

Move It Mama Monday! Different standards for women and men?

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Wouldn't you know it? The very same day last week's Move It Mama Monday came out, discussing research that indicates women need to exercise an hour every day to maintain a normal body weight, I saw another article in my local newspaper about how men need only exercise 30 minutes a day to lose their beer bellies. WTF?!!

I'm not sure what irritates me more - the fact that Tribune Newspapers can't seem to agree on how much exercise a person needs to do to lose or maintain weight; or the fact that the two articles seem to imply two different standards of exercise for women and men.

Do men really only need to exercise 30 minutes a day, 3 or 4 days a week, to lose those extra pounds? That's what the Tribune article seems to say...

"The best exercises are those that reduce total body fat, cardiovascular and aerobic programs. Running, swimming, cycling and tennis are all for burning off the fat. And it doesn't have to be every day; 30 minutes a day, three or four times a week will result in noticeable weight loss..."

So what's the deal? I'm wondering if it's just simply a matter that no one has yet been conducted similar research on men and weight loss as was done on women. Perhaps this is simply a case of one reporter looking at the latest findings published in JAMA while a second report writes up what's been accepted as tried and true for the last decade or so. Or maybe women do need to work harder than men to lose weight?

I don't know, but I sure wish someone would figure things out. It seems like every time I turn around, ever more conflicting information is published about healthy diet and weight. Between snack food and fast food industries that makes it too easy to eat your way to oblivion and a lack of definitive information on how to avoid such a morbid fate, it's no wonder so many people are overweight in this country.

Again, all I can advise is to stay as active as you can, find activities you enjoy, get outside as often as possible, and eat as healthy as you can. Thought what's healthy these days is anybody's guess, it seems.

Posted in Exercise, Move It Mama Monday! | No Comments »

Sunday Contentments – Um, actually this is for Saturday

Sunday, April 4th, 2010

I normally wait until Sunday morning to do most of my blogging for the week. It's how I stay ahead and make sure all my blog posts are done on time. However, I have family in town this week. My parents arrived yesterday evening and will be here all week long for Spring Break, so I know I'm going to be very busy. Thus I am falling back on Plan B for blogging, which is blog the night before.

So you're reading this on Sunday but I'm actually writing this on Saturday night. I just spent the entire day with my parents, the Hubster and the kids. We've had a great day. Everyone except Hubster slept late (Hubster had to go out grocery shopping so we wouldn't all starve). After a lazy start and some lunch, we headed out to Nauticus, a maritime museum in Norfolk, to see an exhibit called "Real Pirates!" Hubster, the kids and I have actually seen this exhibit before. It was on display in the Museum of Science and Technology while we were in Chicago last summer. But it was just as good the second time around, and I managed to catch a few more details. Basically, the exhibit tracks the history of the slave ship Whydah and the pirate captain Sam Bellamy up to the point where Bellamy captured the Whydah and kept it as his new pirate flagship. Neither ship nor captain lasted too long after that, but it was fascinating to see how slavery and piracy collided in the 1700s, and to look at the expedition that eventually found the wreck of the Whydah 300 years later.

The exhibit is a traveling exhibit, so if it comes your way, I highly recommend you see it. You can find out more about it at these links -

Expedition Whydah - www.whydah.com

Real Pirates (National Geographic) - www.nationalgeographic.com/mission/real-pirates

Pirate Ship Whydah - www.nationalgeographic.com/explorer/whydah/index.html

Pirates of the Whydah - www.nationalgeographic.com/whydah/story.html

And yeah, if you haven't guessed by now, the exhibit is a National Geographic exhibit. It's very well done with lots of interesting stuff to see, so look it up and go see it if you can! Meanwhile, I've got an egg hunt to prepare for. By the time you read this, I will be up to my neck in little children screaming for plastic eggs stuffed with chocolate. Thankfully, we're not hosting this event at my house.

Posted in Sunday Contentments | No Comments »

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