Archive for March, 2010

Sunday Contentments – Spring

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

The day has gotten away from me. I slept late, worn out after a Saturday filled with swim lessons, karate lessons, and a children's birthday party, followed by staying up way too late playing a video game I have become enamored of. So I slept in, got to spend a bit of quality time with the Hubster, and as a result I am running four hours behind today.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

It's Spring, a season that brings out both the lazy streak in me as well as the compulsive obsessive streak. I want to relax and enjoy the beautiful weather. At the same time, I want to burn my house to the ground and start all over again from scratch, as I believe that would be quicker than trying to fix everything that's currently bothering me about it. I want to talk a nice slow walk in the balmy afternoon, and I want to run three miles and spend an hour practicing karate in the local tennis court. I want to lie in bed, and I want to get up early so I can get a jump on house cleaning.

What's a girl to do?

I live with it. I try to relax, and work at a slow but steady pace. So far today, I've spent the morning with my husband, had breakfast with the girls (soft boiled egg on toast, my favorite!), gone for a 2 mile run, did 25 minutes of karate practice, and repaired my favorite pair of jeans which have been hanging on my door knob for several months, waiting for me to iron a patch in the rip along the center seam. Hubster has taken the girls off to Norfolk Botanical Gardens while I work on blog posts for this week, laundry, and some cover art for a client who I swear is just begging to have me come find him and bitch-slap him into the next millennium. I'm doing my very best to just enjoy the quiet time and ignore that single annoyance.

I've got my favorite Hawaiian shirt on, along with my favorite, recently repaired jeans. Chris Isaac's Baja Sessions is playing on the stereo while I work, and I indulged in a little bit of artwork this afternoon, as you can see above. Life isn't perfect, but it's good.

As soon as the weather turned warm, I started coming up with plans for things I'd like to do around the house and the yard. I'm gardening again this year. I have waaaaay too many seedlings sitting on my window sills, waiting to die at my hands. I have books on craft projects for the home that I've book marked, trying to decide what I want to make first. Slip covers for the dining room chairs, or small hanging hampers for the laundry area to help sort my delicates and whites? Or maybe three matching gardening aprons for the girls and I?

Spring, it's the season of possibilities where I feel like I can do anything and absolutely nothing at the same time. Reality will set in as the weather gets warmer, and by June I'll be wondering how I'll survive until October comes with cool weather. In the meantime, I'm going to dream and clean and laze about and scheme.

How do you plan to enjoy your spring?

The Science of Sex – Female Mating Strategies Laid Out In Romance Titles?

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Welcome back to "The Science of Sex," a new blog topic I'm doing that looks at the scientific aspects of sexuality and how they might apply to the erotica genre.

This week's topic is an article that ran in the UK Guardian, entitled "Evolutionary psychologists turn attention to romantic fiction." The basic gist of the article is that scientists analyzed 15000 book titles from Harlequin Romance, looking for words that might indicate what women look for in a mate. (Definitely read the article for specific details; it is very interesting). Researchers hypothesized that certain key words would be more likely to show up in titles, reflecting the interests they believe women readers have in finding a suitable mate and reproducing.

Words like 'love,' 'bride,' 'baby,' and 'marriage' showed up most often, as did occupational titles like 'doctor' and 'cowboy.'

What's interesting to note here is that the researchers "...concluded that Harlequin romance novel titles were 'congruent with women's sex-specific mating strategies, which is surmised to be the reason for their continued international success'." (This quote comes straight from the UK Guardian article linked to above). This statement, and the key word analysis itself, has me scratching my head a bit. Granted, I'm not a psychologist or evolutionary scientist. However, I've got two degrees, both in communications, and was required to conduct a research project for my master's degree and take courses on qualitative and quantitative research methodology, which is just a fancy way of saying I know a little bit about how research is done and what research findings may or may not actually mean.

For starters, I think it's interesting the scientists analyzed the titles of 15000 romance novels, but even the most frequently occuring word in those titles - love - only showed up 840 times. If I'm doing my math right, that's about 5.6%. That's not a very high percentage. Secondly, I'm not sure how the appearance of words like 'love,' 'bride,' 'baby,' and 'marriage' (the most frequently appearing words) are a reflection of "women's sex-specific mating strategies..." I mean, honestly, I expect to see the words 'love,' 'bride,' 'baby,' and 'marriage' show up in romance novel titles because the topic of the book is romance. Just like I'd expect to see words like 'rocket,' 'planet,' and 'alien' show up in a science fiction title or the words 'death' and 'murder' show up in mystery and crime novel titles. Those words are an indication of the genre of the book.

Analysis on the frequency of occupational words like 'doctor' and 'cowboy' did seem to jive more with the idea that yes, romance titles reflect what women are looking for in a mate, but again those words didn't show up frequently enough for me to think their appearance was statistically significant.

And then there's my final problem with this research. The scientists looked at the novel titles for one publisher and only one publisher - Harlequin. I'm curious to know if they looked at the titles of other romance publishers, would they be able to replicate their results? In other words, would the words 'love,' 'baby', 'marriage,' 'doctor,' 'cowboy,' etc., show up with the same frequency in another 15000 titles from a different romance publisher? Would they show up more often? Less often? Remember that titles often reflect the brand image of a publisher, so it's possible that maybe these words showed up so frequently in Harlequin's titles because Harelquin wants to project a particular brand. Therefor the findings might not hold steady across all publishers. It'd be interesting to see what key words these researchers might find showing up in small, independent publishers and e-publishers. And it'd be really interesting to see what they might find analyzing the titles of erotic romance and GLBTQ romance novels. And if they were to take a look at paranormal romance titles... Can you just imagine what they might make of 'occupational titles' like 'vampire' and 'werewolf'?

Anyway, that's my two-cents worth on the topic. Again, I'm not a scientist, just someone who's spent a little time studying research methodology, including how to analyze results. And I haven't read the actual article yet, though I have tracked it down. You can download the PDF at this link - http://www.jsecjournal.com/CoxV3I4.pdf.

Let me know what you think of this, if you agree or disagree with what I've said or with the findings of the research. I'm keen to hear what other people think.

Rats! Episode 10 – Watch Your Step

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

No joke. Freshmen cadets were not allowed to use the stairs to exit Shultz dining hall. We always came down into the dining hall via the stairs, after being marched in through the front doors. But when it came time to leave, we could only exit through the back doors. This forced all the rats to take the long way back to the cadet dorms, and it was always a race to see who would get there first - the rats or the upper classmen. Rats weren't allowed to run unless we were in our gym clothes, but we sure as hell learned how to walk very, very fast.

On those rare days when the rats decided we didn't feel like going the long way (and when there weren't enough upper classmen around to stop us), we would rush en mass up the stairs, running over some poor upper classman in the process. I can only recall doing this once as a rat, and we got into trouble for it, but as I recall we ran over our cadet first sergeant so it was worth it.

Other fun insanity that took place in Shultz dining hall. If an upper classman was sitting at the table, we had to ask him or her permission to sit (and we had to be sure to ask the highest ranking upper classman by name and rank, or we'd get in trouble). Also, rats had to wear bibs to every meal. Each company's rats were expected to buy baby bibs, decorate them, and put them on when we sat down at the table. If you didn't have your bib, you were in trouble, and so was every other rat sitting with you (that's the way it always was - if one rat was in trouble, all rats were in trouble).

Another thing, we had to eat sitting at attention. This was usually only during breakfast and dinner, when the entire company marched to the dining hall together after formation. I hated sitting at attention to eat. It meant I had to stare straight ahead at some other rat, who was staring straight back at me. It was extremely hard not to burst out laughing sometimes because the whole damn affair was so stupid, and because some of my male buds looked pretty funny with their heads shaved.

I also recall that the rats in our company (Hotel Company, for anyone who's interested) had to come up with a company song, and we had to sing it, standing on our chairs in the dining hall. I think I still remember that song too.

H Company was marching just the other day!
And we saw First Sergeant Phillips, we had something to say!
We said "Hey First Sergeant Phillips, man what's up with you!"
And here is what First Sergeant started to do!

He said,
"Beat! Your face! Beat, beat your face!"
(Uh-huh!)
"Beat! Your face! Beat, beat your face!"
(Uh-huh!)

Or something like that. First Sergeant Phillips was actually Cadet First Sergeant Phillips, a man who was dedicated to making our lives a living hell. He was very good at his job. The phrase "Beat your face!" means "Get down in the push up position and crank out push ups until I say stop!" It was something Cadet First Sergeant Phillips said quite frequently.

I don't know if the rats all still eat at Shultz dining hall, or if they still have to wear bibs or stand on their chairs to sing songs, but that's what we had to do waaaaaaay back when.

ACW Episode 60 – Sometimes you need a little inspiration

Tuesday, March 16th, 2010

Sometimes, when writing, a gal needs a little inspiration. A little visual inspiration, if you know what I mean...

I will admit, I have searched the internet for porn and erotica, both for writing and art, and at times out of simple boredom. Occasionally, I've come across things that have surprised me, but these days I'm more often surprised by what comes out of my own fingertips when I type.

I'm not a huge fan of porn. There's this age old argument amongst erotica writers about what the difference is between porn and erotica. Some say porn has no plot, no characterization, no point, where as erotica has all these things. Some folks say porn and erotica are the same thing, but porn is what other people watch while erotica is what the writer creates.

I say this. Erotica is a genre that looks at sex and its related issues and how these things affect people's lives. Every day, we make choices with regards to sex. Should we have it or not today? With whom? And why? If we buy this toothpaste, will we really look as sexy as the girl in the commercial? If I sleep with this guy, will I finally be happy/fulfilled/not so damned bored with my life? And so on. These are the stories I enjoy writing, and the ones I most enjoy reading. And when it comes to more visual material, I kind of feel the same way, although being a visual creature, a picture of a naked man engaged in illicit pursuits of any kind is still going to jump start the sexual center of my brain.

Anyway, that's my take on erotica vs. porn. Ask around. You'll find that other people's definitions will vary, and who's to say who's right and who's wrong? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to do some research for a story...

Move It Mama Monday! Another New EA Sports Active?

Monday, March 15th, 2010

I found this article earlier in the week, discussing the newest version of EA Sports Active coming out this fall. It looks like the new version will incorporate a new leg strap as well as an arm strap and heart rate monitor. No more remotes required to do the workouts, and if that's the case I'm hoping it may possible to use hand weights instead of resistance bands for the workouts. I've broken two resistance bands using EASA and have had a bit of a time finding replacement bands that are long enough and sturdy enough to use with the game.

Supposedly, the new EASA will also be able to download new content for the PSP version. No work yet on whether the Wii version will also be able to do so. I'm hoping so, otherwise Wii owners who play EASA will be up in arms.

Other improvements I'd like to see, but that weren't mentioned in the article...

  • More stretching exercises. A lot more stretching exercises, in fact.
  • More warm up and cool down routines. The EASA More Workouts only has one routine for warm up and one for cool down, and doing those for six weeks straight got old real fast.
  • Yoga routines. With the new wireless leg and arm remotes, I think this would be the ideal time for EASA to incorporate yoga into it's workout options.
  • Bring back some of the old games from the original version of EASA, including the baseball, basketball, tennis and volley ball games. I put together entire workouts that were nothing but those sports games and they gave me a real workout. I'd love to see them brought back.
  • An option to pre-program EASA for a certain number of workouts a week based on what the user wants. The 6-week challenge demands you do 4 workouts a week for six weeks straight, which can be a little tough to work in if you do other forms of exercise during the week. I would rather have done 2 regularly scheduled workouts in addition to my water aerobics classes, karate classes, and other Wii workouts. Granted, I can still do that by picking the 6-week challenge workouts on my own from the menu and going through them in order, but the pre-programmed function would have been nice to have.

Keeping that last comment above in mind, I'm thinking of working EASA back into my morning workouts, maybe twice a week, interspersed between Gold's Gym Cardio, Wii Fit Plus and DDR or the new Just Dance game that I've ordered. I don't like to get bored, obviously, and mixing things up like this will give me plenty of ways to keep active.

If anybody has comments on working out with any of the above games, or with any games I haven't mentioned, post them below. I'm interested in hearing what others have to say about working out with the Wii.

Sunday Contentments – Nostalgia

Sunday, March 14th, 2010

Last Friday, I had one perfect moment of nostalgia.

I was in the pool at the YMCA, taking my regular water aerobics class, when I saw a woman and a small child come into the pool. The child was a perfect chubby little three-year-old girl, with pigtails and a fishy print bathing suit, and she toddled around on her perfect chubby little legs with her mother trotting after her. They got into the pool together and the mother held onto the little girl and carried her around in the water, hoisting her up into the air and bringing her down with a splash, or standing at the side of the pool and helping her child jump into the water.

As I watched them, I was suddenly taken back four years, to a time when it was just me and Princess, and once a week I would bring her royal chubbiness to the pool to splash around just like that. Looking back, things seemed a lot simpler then, even though I know they weren't. But still, those memories have a golden haze to them as a perfect time in my life.

I haven't taken Pixie to the pool as much, due to scheduling conflicts. You'd be amazed at how busy a three-year-old's life can be, as well as my own. But I've made some changes recently to free up our Wednesday mornings, and I'm thinking that this Wednesday, I'll bring my own perfectly chubby little three-year-old to the pool so that she and I can splash around and make a few nostalgic moments that I can enjoy years down the line.

Enjoy your Sunday, folks.

The Science of Sex – a new topic for the blog

Friday, March 12th, 2010
For a long time now, I've been trying to come up with a regular blog post topic that really defined my thoughts on the erotica genre and was pretty descriptive of who I am as an erotica writer. I don't do romance, no straight up sci-fi or fantasy. My erotica is not simply stories of sex scenes between two or more people. I write weird stuff to be honest; stories about plants having sex, and aliens discussing gender roles, etc. During a discussion with Nobilis Reed and Ann Regentin on our joint podcast The Good Parts, I realized that I get a lot of my best story ideas from scientific articles in newspapers and magazines, like National Geographic or Psychology Today. And this got me to thinking. If I were going to teach someone what I know about writing erotica, it would be to look at science for intriguing story ideas. For instance, a couple of months ago, National Geographic ran an article on orchids, including one particular species familiarly called the "prostitute orchid?" This particular species of orchid cross dresses as a female bee in order to lure male bees in to mate with it. While the male bee is busy getting his insectile rocks off on the fake femme, the orchid gets busy securing pollen to the bee's nether regions. By the time the bee finally figures out he's been duped into humping a flower, he's already been coated in pollen (or as I like to call it, orchid sperm). The poor bee flies off in search of a real female bee, only to run into another cross dressing flower where he ends up depositing the pollen from the first orchid, thus becoming an unwitting courier in the mating rituals of flowers. Bizarre story, isn't it? And yet fascinating too. Imagine being the flower, trying to lure the bee in so you could hose him down with your seed. Or better yet, imagine being the bee, looking for LUV in all the wrong places. What if there were a society of sentient beings where this sort of mating was carried out as a ritual? The males and females of the species would have to rely on a member of a separate species to carry out an important and very intimate transaction in order to breed. Would the courier species charge money for their services? And how would humans react to encountering an intelligent alien species in which this sort of activity was the sexual norm? These are the sort of ideas I love to sink my teeth into and write about. And since I think this is something that makes me a bit unique among erotica writers, I've decided to work on a semi-regular post that I'll put up on Fridays called The Science of Sex. Some weeks, I'll post links to articles I've come across on the web about sex and scientific discoveries in the news. Other times, I'll give my thoughts on what I've read or researched recently, and how I might spin a particular bit of science news into a story idea. And folks are free to run with any ideas I come up with. I don't mind discussing my thoughts or inspiring people to write stories of their own. For this week, here's a link to the National Geographic article on orchids that I mentioned above, entitled Love and Lies - http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2009/09/orchids/pollan-text/1. And if that isn't enough for you, here's an article from Web MD on the health benefits sof sex - http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/10-surprising-health-benefits-of-sex. Interesting stuff to know, and could be the basis of some intriguing story ideas. I know I've got one brewing in the back of my head even now! Read it and enjoy and I'll keep my eye out for more Science of Sex topics for future posts!

Rats! Episode 09 – Good Morning Sunshine!

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Ah, first call to formation. How well I recall performing that lovely little duty. First call was essentially the wake up call freshman made to let everyone know that formation was coming up. Basically, all the rats met in one room in the company area to argue over who's turn it was to perform first call. Then one poor rat was shoved out into the hall where he had to drag to one end, stand at attention, and shout as loud as he could...

"First call to formation, Sir!"

"First call to formation, Sir!"

"First call to formation, Sir!"

Three times in a row, just like that. Then the rat took off dragging and escaped back into the room. About 5-10 minutes later, he came back out again to call "Last call to formation, Sir!" During first call, there might be a few upper classmen out in the hallway, waiting to be spoken up to. By last call, frikkin' everybody was out there. As soon as last call was made, all the rats came pouring out to line up along one wall, where they were then chewed out for whatever god-forsaken reason the upper classmen came up with that morning. Sometimes the cadet first sergeant would just lay in with a very vigorous speech about how lousy we all were and how we'd better straighten up. Other times, it seemed like every upper classman in the company pounced on us, conducting on the spot inspections and drilling us for new cadet knowledge. New cadet knowledge, by the way, was trivia we all had to study about the VTCC and Virginia Tech. To this day I can still tell you which building on campus serves as a compass (Burruss Hall), and the names of all the Pylons on the Drill Field (Brotherhood, Ut Prosim, Loyalty, Leadership, Service, Sacrifice, Honor, Duty). I cannot recall though how many alumni went on to receive Medals of Honor for their military service, nor all the names of the university presidents. Some stuff was just bound to leak out my ears eventually, I suppose.

I was hardly a stranger to early mornings when I joined the VTCC. My high school had an early seventh period which I took advantage of to earn extra credits toward my diploma. In fact, being able to wake up and get moving early in the AM was probably the only advantage I had as a rat. I hated it, but I could do it, and I could get to where I needed to be on time, regardless of the hour of the morning. Many upper classmen did sleep in, so it was always kind of fun in a mean way to have to wake them up early on mornings when we knew they had planned to sleep late.

BTW, I've been getting emails and feedback on the "Rats!" cartoons from a lot of former and current cadets. Thank you all for visiting and reading these cartoons. Be forewarned though. You see the logo at the top of the web? The one that has this cartoon of a woman with horns and says "Cynical Woman: Stay-at-home Mom and Erotica Writer?" Yeah, I'm not kidding about that. That's me as I am today. If you're only here for the "Rats!" cartoons, be careful poking around the rest of the site. I am far from politically correct, and I take my smut writing very seriously. Well, as seriously as I can. I do cartoon about that too, and if you're interested, you can see those cartoons here.

ACW Episode 59 – Huzzah! It’s Monday!

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

This happens to me all too often. I look forward to Mondays because Monday is my first opportunity to work without interruption after a weekend of screaming kids and Hubster (Hubster does not scream, but he does keep me busy on the weekends). I enjoy my time with my family, but I do need time to work, so by the time Monday comes around, I'm usually chomping at the bit to get started. Then wouldn't you know it? One of the kids is sick, there's a doctor's appointment to go to, Hubster decides to work at home which always completely disrupts my routine...

The last couple of weeks' worth have been totally eaten by sick kids, sick me, and doctor appointments. And yesterday, when I thought I'd finally have the house to myself to work, Pixie came down with a fever. It's been frustrating, I tell ya. I do most of my writing in the evenings after the kids are asleep and while Hubster is busy up in the office, but I still need a couple hours during the day to handle email, finances, story critiques, website updates, blogging, etc. If I don't get that time, those tasks start to build up fast, and pretty soon I find myself staying up all hours of the night just to keep up. I hate it!

I recently read an article on author Jodi Picoult, a woman who's written 17 novels in 18 years (and no, I haven't read a single one of her books). She gets up at the crack of dawn, goes for a three mile walk, and then works until 3PM when her kids get home. I started to think, "Man! Wouldn't that be great, to just write for six or seven hours straight? Think how much writing I'd get done! I wish I had her schedule." Then I read that she gets 200 fan emails a day and she personally responds to all of them, and suddenly I realized I pretty much do have her work schedule. Not with the 200 fan emails a day of course (though I wouldn't complain about that). But Jodi Picoult is also handling those same minor tasks that eat up so much of a writer's time, and if she has kids, I'm betting she also has days where she's got to take care of a sick child or spend all day in the doctor's office instead of at her desk writing. And yet she still gets stuff done.

And I get stuff done too. A short story a week, two web comics, commissions for my computer graphics business, etc. In spite of all the juggling, it does all somehow get done.

Huzzah, it's Tuesday. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to work!

Move It Mama Monday! Combinations In Wii Fit Plus

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Last week was an interesting week, exercise-wise. If you recall, I made the decision to switch up my schedule, saving my writing time for the evenings after the girls were in bed and using my mornings before the girls got up to exercise on the Wii.

That plan sort of worked. Last week I was still recovering from being sick with a sinus infection, and then Princess came down with some sort of stomach bug, and then we had a snow day so all my usual carefully laid plans went right out the window. I did manage to get on the Wii to exercise most mornings, but many days that was the only exercise I got, and I'm really striving for 2-3 periods of exercise each day. Those periods include: early morning Wii session before everyone else gets up; daytime fitness class at the Y or dojo; and half an hour or more outside working on the yard and garden. I only managed to get all three sessions in on one day, Friday. I must admit I felt tired when Friday evening hit, but I also felt good. Thanks to getting up early, the day's schedule had gone well and I got in plenty of activity and even some fresh air. But that was the only day I accomplished all my physical activity. Most of the week I only got to workout on the Wii, and I was frustrated with that because those workouts were not as challenging as I would have liked.

Then I stumbled across a comment on the Wii Mommies forums about the "Combine" feature in Wii Fit Plus. One mom noted that when she combined the preset routines in Training Plus, she got a really good workout that burned 200 calories. That's far more calories than I've usually been able to burn using Wii Fit Plus, so I decided to give this a try.

Sunday morning, I popped in Wii Fit Plus and went straight to Training Plus. I selected the Routines option and hit the "Combine" button where I picked six of the routines available and told Wii to let 'er rip. Forty-two minutes later, I had actually worked up quite a sweat and burned 146 calories. Amazing! By combining the various routines, I was able to go through all areas of Wii Fit Plus - cardio, balance games, yoga and strength - and I even had fun in the process. The combined routines mixed everything up so I did a little of this, a little of that, and never got bored.

What I really liked is that I did all that exercise, burned plenty of calories, and still managed to take it easy on my knees. It's that time of the month, folks, and with my hormones in full swing, my knees are really killing me. Wii Fit Plus is about the only home exercise I can do that won't leave me crippled for life during this time. But compared to EASA and Gold's Gym Cardio, Wii Fit Plus seemed seriously lacking in the calorie burning department.

Well, no longer. I'll probably spend most of this week doing combined workouts so I can continue to take it easy on my knees. With luck, I'll be able to work up a sweat every morning, and then go on to my next exercise period ready to rock and roll. We'll see how this works out!

If anybody else is using Wii Fit Plus and has thoughts on the Combine function, let me know. Or if you have any tips on getting the most out of Wii Fit Plus, feel free to leave them here. I still think Wii Fit Plus is the most fun of all the fitness games I've tried, but I really want to sweat with it. If you can help me figure out how to do that, I'd be very grateful!