How I Got A Full Night’s Sleep With A Newborn

There is one way to get a good night’s sleep with an infant. Give that child whatever she wants.

After struggling for two weeks to get Sam to sleep on her own – either in her basinet, her co-sleeper or in her bouncy chair – I caved in early last night and just put her in bed with me. It’s apparenlty what she wants. So what if she nurses till my nipples bleed? That’s what lanolin is for. So what if I walk around like Quasimodo because I spent all night curled up around a fussing, farting little bundle of joy? I don’t need to walk upright like a normal human being. I’m already one of the living dead, remember?

So Sam-I-Am slept right next to me all night. She fussed, she farted, she grunted, she kicked me in the stomach and she fed all night long. At least I got a few hours of sleep, and I was able to get up at 6:30 this morning, which means I am finally back on a normal schedule, for today anyway.

Michael made a brilliant observation at breakfast. If Sam is in bed with me nursing, then she’s got to be sleeping on her side, as opposed to her back (which she hates) or on her front (which is a big no-no). Nor is she sitting propped up either, like she would be in the bouncy chair (something else she apparently has grown to hate and seems to lead to her spitting up). This gave me an idea. I went digging through the closet in the nursery and found Cassie’s old back positioner. It was a gift from my sister, but Cassie never seemed to care for it. Basically, it consists of two sturdy, fabric-covered tubes connected to each other by wide strips of fabric. The strips velcro together to adjust the fit. Well, I adjusted that thing as tight as I could and slipped Sam into it on her side this morning. She flailed about for a couple of minutes, trapped between the tubes, then settled down and went to sleep. No fussing, very little farting, and only the occasional grunting noise I’ve come to associate with colic and reflux.

We got an appointment tomorrow with the pediatrician. In the meantime, I’m going to try keeping Sam propped on her side tonight and see if that doesn’t help her sleep. Then maybe, maybe I can rejoin the world of the living. Maybe.

About Cynical Woman

Cartoonist, Artist, Geek, Evil Crafter, Girl Scout Troop Leader and Writer. Also, a zombie. I haven't slept in I don't know how long.
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  1. colic, vomit, gas, and no sleep. i remember those days. looking and those two rows of perfect pink gums and chubby tongue which is coiled back and preparing for more backlash of screaming. “yes, i’ll give you anything you want. but what do you want?”

    they want custard. . . sugar. . . pudding. but not they just don’t know it yet.

    they’ve gone into complete & total Ben & Jerry’s remission since birth. they have chocolate DTs. you can’t help. you just have to sympathize with them on the cosmic level until they’re old enough to have the sugar they so desperately need and that we so mercilessly exposed them to for 9 continuous months.

  2. Strangley enough, sugar is the cause of the problem. Sam is getting too much lactose thanks to my insane ability to overproduce milk. If I could figure out how to make ice cream with it, I’d freeze it and store it for later when she’s older and can handle the extra sugar rush. Right now, it just gives her gas and green poop.

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